Now That's Just Sorcery Green Smoothie

I'm rather a fan of smoothies, but they're always kind of ... harsh, somehow. Almost like they're chemically burning my throat, I suppose. And they're so cold. Which I know is rather the point, but I don't like cold things, especially not cold things that say "This is a chemical burn" in Tyler Durden's voice while they're turning my throat into an episode of Game of Thrones that spends too much time focused on Jon and Sam.

This smoothie is almost 100% identical to the recipe from Oh She Glows (my colleague loaned me the Oh She Glows cookbook in exchange for pie, in case anyone's curious why I'm suddenly so obsessed with her recipes) but it has my twists to it, mostly brought on by the fact that I purchased a ridiculous number of Just Barley powdered green barley uh ... three years ago, and until today hadn't found a way to drink it that didn't involve way, WAY too much sugar. Like I'd only drink it if it were made with two spoonfuls of Tang and a spoonful of honey. That's the textbook definition of "WAY too much sugar." Undeniably.

This recipe has sugars in it, but they're all natural sugars, and besides that, it's got flavor. Like, flavors you want to taste. And the texture, oh my stars 'n garters, it's got this rich, thick, frothy texture that I usually associate with being deathly ill an hour later, because getting that kind of texture without using half a cow's worth of thick cream isn't a thing I thought you could do.

You can. And you will, and you'll like it. Yes.

Now That's Just Sorcery Green Smoothie

Ingredients
2 cups' soy/almond/coconut/rice/cow milk
2 tbsp Just Barley green powder (or 2 cups fresh kale/baby spinach, allegedly)
1/4 cup smooth peanut butter (I totally eyeballed this, I am so sorry) Measured, this is correct.
2 bananas
2 tbsp chia seed
1 tsp vanilla extract

Instructions
- Dump everything into a blender.
- Blend on low until it's not got big chunks of banana in it anymore.
- Blend on high until it's smooth.
- Pour it into two hefty coffee mugs.
- Drink.

We took ours with dinner, which was Greens, Eggs, and Hash (vegetarian). Surprisingly, they went really well together. We then had a joint existential crisis because, damnit, we weren't going vegetarian, and if we were, we weren't going to like it! /worst suffering vegetarians ever

Update: Drink this for breakfast if  you want to feel like you can lift buildings about 20 minutes later. This stuff is POTENT. Wheeeee~!