your goose is probably only half-baked at this point

This is why no one should ever let me name things, really.  You can think of this as my response to, "Man, why do you like Star Wars ?  It's so cheesy." K. So? Ahh, I crack me up. k, so? (Queso) Ingredients 4 Tbsp butter 4 Tbsp flour (whole wheat works well here) 2 1/2 cup milk of your choosing (soy works fine) Spices: - 2 generous shakes of salt - 1/2 tsp fresh black pepper - 1/2 tsp garlic powder - 1 tsp chili powder - 1 tsp cumin - 2 generous shakes of red pepper flakes 12 oz Monterrey jack cheese, shredded 3 Tbsp pickled jalapenos, chopped up into small pieces so wimps don't whine at you Instructions Measure your spices into a cup or something first; they all go in at the same time anyway. Measure out the milk. Shred the cheese. In a large saucepan over medium heat, melt the butter. Whisk in the flour until smooth. Gradually add the milk, whisking constantly, until it's all in and smooth and lovely. Add in the spices, still whisk...

Guardian of the Sacred Spirit  is my all-time favorite anime, due in very large part to the way Balsa, the main character, is portrayed to be multi-faceted, flawed, human, and -- most importantly -- kick-ass.  My favorite line of hers is in the first episode, when she's just beat up a bunch of men sent to kill her, she points her spear at the final guy and says, "You'll die twice before you draw your sword." I live  for moments of verbal genius, heavens. Now we've been enjoying  Boba Fett Died like a B*tch  brussels sprouts for some years now (about as long as I've been babbling endlessly about Star Wars , really), but this recipe -- much like Balsa's characterization as a protagonist -- elevates the art to the point that you almost feel sorry for its inferior.  And I'll still eat Boba Fett sprouts, just like I'll still watch Star Wars , but there's no competition between it and Guardian , just as there's no competition between this rec...

I don't get why this bread works.  Really, I don't.  Isn't bread supposed to be a huge pain in the ass to make?  Like, fiddly and time-consuming and frustrating?  Always has been for me when I've made yeast breads. Not so with this one.  This is a throw-it-together-and-forget-about-it-while-it-bakes exercise in laziness and gluttony and it is amazing . Must be tasted to be believed, and believe you me, you'll want to make another loaf as soon as the first one is gone (which won't take long; this stuff is good ). Hold My Beer (Bread) Ingredients 3 cups all-purpose flour (spooned and leveled, or sifted if you're feeling fancy) 1 Tbsp baking powder 2 Tbsp white sugar 1/4 tsp salt 12 oz liquid (see note below)* 4 Tbsp butter (1/2 stick; 1/4 cup), plus some to butter the pan Instructions Preheat oven to 375*F. Liberally butter the bottom and sides of a 9.5" x 5" bread loaf pan. In a medium mixing bowl, whisk together the dry ing...

I don't have much to say about this dish, mostly because I just ate a big bowl of it alongside a genuinely delightful  Badass Biker Chick(pea) Burger  and a cup of strawberries in applesauce -- pretty much the perfect meal to eat after slogging home on a bike in 98* weather.  I'm sure there's a long-winded story in my brain somewhere about how I had pumpkin soup for the first time while studying abroad to Japan fifteen years ago, and an observation that I've been meaning to learn to make pumpkin soup for fifteen-odd years, but that's honestly not all that interesting and the soup's so easy and quick that you can make it faster than I can bore you with my stories. Credit where credit is due:  It's almost exactly copied from  The Minimalist Baker's site , but she a) makes her pumpkin puree from scratch, which is way more effort than I'm going to put into a side-dish and b) goes on and on and ON forever about this soup with picture after picture after...

Five or six years ago, I hated cornbread.  Now, I'll shank a b*tch over it. This recipe gets all the credit. (And it's vegan, but don't tell anybody.  It's delicious and that's all they need to know.) Everybody Loves Cornbread Ingredients 1 cup flour (whole wheat, white, rye, knock yourself out here) 1 cup cornmeal (yellow, accept no substitutes) 1 Tbsp baking powder 1/2 tsp salt (DON'T leave this out) Scant 1/2 cup white sugar* 1 Tbsp molasses* 1/2 cup pack pumpkin 1 cup milk (of the soy, almond, cashew, or rice variety if you're going for vegan cornbread) 1/4 cup natural, unsweetened applesauce * Or use 1/4 cup white sugar and 1/4 cup brown sugar, if you can be bothered to keep brown sugar around the house (I can't). Instructions - Preheat the oven to 400*F. - In a medium mixing bowl, whisk together the dry ingredients and molasses. - Make a well in the middle and dump in the wet ingredients. - Whisk the wet ingredients, ...

Sand People are easily startled, but they'll be back soon enough if you make them some nice hummus, and they might not even beat you with sticks if you use this hummus to make them a sandwich. Also, good stars Ben, you can't just call them Sand People. Way to be a super old racist dude. This recipe was inspired by  Alton Brown's "Hummus for Real" recipe  on the Food Network, but recipes on the Food Network always have too many adjectives in them, so here's my version, which is tons easier and shorter and just better all around. It's also my go-to when I don't have the energy to cook something more substantial, and it makes a damn good centerpiece to a handful of good meals. More on that below. For now, go give this recipe a try. It's really very tasty. Sand(wich) People Hummus Ingredients 15 - 16 oz tinned chickpeas, drained but keep the liquid 2 cloves' garlic 2 tbsp lemon juice 1/4 cup chickpea liquid 1/3 cup tahini (peanut butt...

Thanksgiving can be a tricky time for vegetarians. All the side-dishes we traditionally prepare at Thanksgiving complement the turkey, so if you're not eating any turkey, you usually get the sense that you're missing out. Well no more! These mushrooms are so good, oh my goodness. They're buttery, for all that there's no butter involved, have just the right amount of heat in them from the garlic, and if they were any easier, they'd probably be a Skywalker. I like them because I can roast them along with my  Mos Eisley Roasted Vegetables and the chicken breast I make for my partner, which means that the entire Thanksgiving dinner, aside from the dumplings and dessert, is in the oven roasting along merrily together all at once while I drink wine make the dumplings and set the table. And drink wine, because dear god is wine nice with a meal celebrating the good things in life. Kiss Me Anyway Garlic Roasted Mushrooms Ingredients - 1/4 lb sliced portobello ...

It's all fun and games until someone gets their arm chopped off. Mos Eisley Roasted Vegetables Ingredients 1/2 lb (15, yes I counted) frozen Brussels sprouts 1 large carrot 1 large or 2 small parsnips 2 tsp olive oil 1/4 tsp coarse salt Gratuitous black pepper Instructions - Preheat oven to 425*F. - In a small mixing bowl, microwave the Brussels sprouts for a minute or two. - Cut the carrot into 1" pieces, halving the pieces where the carrot's thick (so you only have cylinders that are no bigger around than a marker, maybe). - Do the same for the parsnip. - Halve each of the Brussels sprouts, once they're out of the microwave. - Dump all of the veggies into the mixing bowl with the oil, salt, and pepper. - Toss with a rubber spatula until everything's all even-coated 'n stuff. - Arrange on a silpat on a baking sheet, turning the Brussels sprouts so that they're cut-side up. - Bake 40-50 minutes or until the Brussels sprouts are ro...

Thanksgiving meant chicken and dumplings in my family every single year when I was growing up, and it was just the BEST part of the year, lemme tell you. Granted, I was that picky little kid who wouldn't eat dumplings until I was 7 or 8, but that doesn't mean much -- I refused to eat ANYTHING for the first near-decade of my life. I was surprised and pleased to learn when I was in my teens that the dumplings I had loved so much were my grandmother's own recipe, and delighted when I learned as an adult, living too far away to come home for Thanksgiving, that I could make dumplings myself. These are the ultimate comfort-food, and one of my favorite things about the autumn holidays. Thanksgiving Dumplings Ingredients 4 cups all-purpose flour (1 cup) 4 tsp salt (1 tsp) 4 tsp baking powder (1 tsp) 1/2 cup vegetable shortening (2 tbsp) 1 1/2 cup milk (3 oz) Extra flour for rolling 12 cups water (3 cups) 1 tbsp bouillon of your choosing (I use vegetable and it's...

"You a fan of the 'Fett?" "Nah, I was always more into Star Wars. " ( Live Free or Die Hard ) I always assumed Boba Fett was like ... cool or something. I mean, there's that line in Die Hard , there was the whole thing about his dad in those godawful prequels, people dress as him for Halloween. And then I got around to watching the orig-trig and he didn't really do  anything. Except die. Like a bitch . These badass brussels sprouts aren't at all in his honor. Boba Fett Died Like a B*tch Brussels Sprouts Ingredients 1 lb frozen brussels sprouts 1 tbsp olive oil 1/4 tsp sea salt (use less if you're using regular table salt) 1/4 tsp ground black pepper Instructions - Preheat your oven to 420*F (I use my toaster oven at 400* - it needs 420* for a regular-size oven) - In a small mixing bowl, microwave your brussels sprouts for 3-4 minutes, or until they're kinda thawed. - Drain off any excess water - Slice them in h...

There's a joke to be made here about Owen and Beru Lars, but it's just ... too soon . Too soon, man. (Happy headcanon: Those're Stormtrooper skeletons on the doorstep. Owen and Beru escaped and hid in the shadows, helping Luke and the Rebellion. Also Aunt Beru is a badass Jedi who hangs out with Leia on the weekends, telling all of the embarrassing stories she can about Luke as a child.) Yup. Tusken Raider Fries Ingredients 2-4 red potatoes, scrubbed but NOT peeled 1 tbsp olive oil 1/2 tsp sea salt 1 tbsp dry oregano Instructions - Preheat oven to 420*F. I use my toaster oven and it's all good. - Slice each potato into quarters, then cut each quarter into quarters so you have what look like fries. - Toss those into a medium mixing bowl. - Add the oil, salt, and oregano. - Using a rubber spatula, toss all that together until it's as even as it's going to get. Don't work too hard. - Line a baking tray with a silpat and dump the potatoes...

I love rosemary fries (thanks to Clover Foodlabs in Cambridge ) almost as much as I love sweet potato fries, and with a little help of this recipe , I've got a way to combine the two right here in the comfort of my own home, where pants are optional and bras hang on the wall instead of squeezing the life out of me. Ahh, such is luxury. These are quick, they're tasty, and they're wicked good for you. Highly recommended. Rosemary Sweet Potato Wedges Ingredients 1 good-size sweet potato, peeled 2 tsp olive oil 1 1/2 tsp Old Bay seasoning (Mrs. Dash would probably work great as well - lemon herb, perhaps?) 1/2 tsp dried rosemary Instructions - Preheat oven (I use my toaster oven) to 450*F. - Cut the sweet potato into 1" slices, then cut those slices into 1/2-3/4" pieces. - Put the sweet potato pieces into a small mixing bowl with the olive oil, Old Bay, and rosemary. - Toss carefully with a spatula until everything's all evenly coated on the c...