your goose is probably only half-baked at this point

I'd never seriously thought, "Man, I wish there were a way for me to do shots with my colleagues in the middle of the day, in the office, and have no one say anything about it other than 'you're so nice for bringing us treats, molly,'" but now that a) I've done exactly this and b) the results were hilarious , I find I think this all the time . What a world we live in. Quick story:  first rum balls (I think they were bourbon balls, actually) I ever had, a colleague had made some, and brought me one out of pity because I was too shy to go over and ask for one (I have introvert moments sometimes okay?).  I was so happy he'd brought me a treat that I put the whole thing in my mouth straight away, only realizing after I'd started chewing that holy shit this thing is strong .  Delicious, but knock-you-on-your-ass alcoholic.  Said colleague seemed pleased and went away smiling, while I frantically texted my partner that we were taking the bus home bec...

I made this recipe as a treat to take to the first screening I attended of Star Wars IX: Rise of Skywalker , which I enjoyed far  more than I'd thought I would (translation: I loved it, shrieked several times with joy, laughed, and at the end, I sobbed because I'm just a hot mess sometimes, whaddya want).  I saw the movie with a bunch of coworkers, so of course I offered to share my snack with them, only to discover that New Englanders don't know what puppychow/dog food/muddy buddies  is.  Like ... how?   Did y'all never go to day camp in the summer?  Vacation Bible School?  4H? (The answer: no.  And if they did, this wasn't served.  I and all of my midwestern acquaintances are horrified , I tell you! Horrified.) I'm uploading this recipe because a) the original recipe  makes twice as much as will fit in my largest mixing bowl and y'all I don't need that much of this treat lying around my house; b) I really don't like having to do me...

(Title from Han Solo's answer to Leia's "I love you" in Empire Strikes Back because I just can't not have a Star Wars reference in things, have you met me.) Writing is a funny thing in many ways (and by "funny" I mean "often torturous," but nevermind), but the most ... useful, I suppose? side-effect I've had from writing is that, when I'm writing characters eating a meal, even if I'm not describing the meal they're eating, I start to crave that meal.  Doesn't matter what it is -- pizza and beer, granola bars, eggs and toast ... or in this case, broccoli cheese soup. (Seriously, never once do I specify that they're eating broccoli cheese soup.  Just "soup."  And yet.  And yet .) This fine recipe is adapted from  this recipe , which I have adjusted to be a) better-suited for the lazy and b) bigger, because leftovers are the best thing EVER.  It makes, so far as I can tell, around ten normal-size serving...

I first discovered this recipe on Foodwishes.com's YouTube channel , which slated them as Turkish eggs.  However, I'm pretty sure that recipe's an adaptation of authentic Turkish eggs, and since my recipe is an adaptation of that recipe ... yeah.  Not gonna claim it's Turkish until someone tells me I can.  Like someone from Turkey, not just any random yahoo. That said, this is arguably my favorite way to eat eggs, so good that I'm not even ashamed to admit that I licked my plate clean and scurried upstairs to work out after I ate it, just so I could burn off what I'd just eaten and eat it again.  Gonna be making this a LOT on nights I get home and need dinner NOW, which is pretty cool, because it's shockingly good for you -- low in butter (you need VERY little to get the flavor), has eggs and wheat toast in it, and a generous serving of yogurt.  Everything the body needs! Mudhorn Eggs Ingredients For the yogurt sauce   7-8 oz plain yogurt, the th...

Once upon a time, I was going to do this whole British-themed meal:  fish 'n chips, English beer, sticky toffee pudding, black tea with milk ... But then I made this pudding and it was so good that I kind of ... ate it without giving a hoot about the rest of the theme meal?  I'll care later. For now, I'm making this whenever possible because holy hell is it delicious .  Just as smooth and lovely and sweet and delightful as Leia in her Bespin costume.  Between it and her Hoth costume, I managed to fall completely in love with her.  Han and Lando'll have to fight me. Hello What Have We Here Sticky Toffee Pudding Ingredients 1 tsp baking soda 1 3/4 cup dried chopped dates 3/4 cup boiling water 1/3 cup butter (vegan buttery works here) 3/4 cup white sugar 1/2 cup pumpkin puree 1 cup flour 1 1/2 tsp baking powder 1/4 tsp salt Caramel : make half a batch and you'll have more than you need, so maybe a quarter batch?  Or make the full batch a...

I was looking for a recipe for an orange-cinnamon glaze for fish and ended up with a recipe for topping for waffles that beats all other toppings forever (and we'd tried a lot of different toppings: maple syrup, honey butter, yogurt, you get the idea).  For the order of operations, I think I'd make the batter for the waffles and start the waffle iron heating, then start the glaze, and make the waffles while the sauce reduces, but this was definitely a science experiment that worked out so well that I'm now trying to reverse-engineer it into something replicable. Also, Mark Hamill looks adorable in bright orange, don't let anybody ever tell you any different. <3 Flightsuit Orange & Banana Glaze Ingredients 2 Tbsp butter, melted 2 Tbsp sugar 1/2 tsp cinnamon 1/2 cup orange juice 2 bananas, sliced 1/2-3/4" thick Instructions In a 9" skillet over medium heat, melt butter. Add sugar and cinnamon and whisk to combine. Add the orange ...

Once upon a time, my dear partner went fishing in Alaska with his grandfather, dad, brother, uncles, and cousins.  This was all well and good, save for the fact that my partner a) doesn't fish, b) doesn't like  fishing, and c) hates traveling. He had a surprisingly good time and came home with a wealth of amazing photos, stories, and memories. ... and 70lb of fish.  35lb salmon, 35lb halibut. Which is awesome!  Save for the fact that I don't   didn't  know how to cook salmon.  I actually made myself seasick (har har) watching YouTube videos on how to cook salmon ahead of my partner's victorious return so I'd have some recipes ready to try. This was the second recipe I tried, and it was so good that we stopped trying other recipes just so we could eat this one again and again and again.  And it should be noted here that the first night we had it, I got the fish into the marinade, then passed out from exhaustion (it's been a looooooong few ...

Pros of this meal: - fast - full of healthy ingredients - tastes like heaven - made from things I have around the house - makes a good lunch OR dinner - no seriously it's delicious Cons of this meal: - i am not eating it RIGHT NOW - okay i am now, carry on ( Originally posted with a lot more hassle and ingredients, but I've since fixed it so it's easier, faster, and more likely to happen around here.  You're welcome).   TIE Fighter Spinach & Chickpeas with Peanut Sauce Ingredients 2/3 - 3/4 cup peanut butter (I eyeball this.  Don't work too hard.) 3 Tbsp honey 2 cloves garlic A few shakes red pepper flakes (and by a few I mean SET THE DISH AFLAME) 1/2 cup water 1 Tbsp lemon OR lime juice (I often don't have lime juice, so) 3 Tbsp soy sauce Some oil for the frying pan 1 lb frozen spinach 15-oz can chickpeas, drained Something to serve the spinach mix over.  I have successfully used: - soba noodles (one bundle for two serv...

I HAVEN'T MADE THIS RECIPE YET.  JUST UPLOADING IT HERE SO I'LL HAVE MY RECIPE AT HAND WHEN I'M READY TO TRY IT OUT.  WILL UPDATE ONCE IT'S BEEN TESTED. Smashburger should get quite a lot of credit for this recipe, because holy crap  is their New Englander black bean burger amazing, but they're also to blame for it because they're too far from my house for me to walk there and get the New Englander whenever the spirit moves me, so here we are. Adapted from  this delightful recipe  and saved here so it doesn't walk away from me. The name comes from how hard this recipe punches, and how awesome it is to have the sweet glow of the cranberries against the dark power of the burger.  Just don't choke on it.  That's bad for you. Vader's Fist Black Bean Burgers (with cranberries) Ingredients 1 15-oz can black beans Olive oil for sauteeing 1/4 cup bell pepper 1/2 onion, diced 2 cloves garlic 3/4 tsp cumin 1/2 tsp chili powder 1/4 tsp g...

It's sweet, golden, and beyond basic, just like Luke Skywalker.  What more could you want? (Adapted from  this lovely recipe , saved here so it won't disappear on me, and so I have the edits I've made to the original.) This is best enjoyed with a cup of unsweetened tea.  Green if you can manage it. <3 Live, Laugh, Luke Butter Mochi Ingredients 1 stick salted butter 2 cups sugar 2 tsp vanilla 4 eggs 16 oz mochiko flour 2 tsp baking powder 2 14.5-oz cans coconut milk Instructions Butter a 9x13" baking dish and preheat your oven to 350*F. In a large mixing bowl, melt the butter. Add the sugar and vanilla extract, using a rubber spatula to mix until fully combined. Add the eggs one at a time, mixing each one in fully. Upend the mochiko on top of the egg/sugar/butter mixture. Add the baking powder to the mochiko powder, then start slowly mixing it into the wet mix. Once it's sort of combined, to the point that it's not al...

I have such  a weakness for Irish cream.  One of my favorites -- if not my favorite -- form of alcohol.  And now that I've discovered that I can make frosting out of it?  Please send help, my waistline weeps. But send a cake along with the help, because I've got this great frosting, see, and we could frost a cake with it ... This makes the perfect amount to put on top of one single layer of cake.  I'd triple it for a double-layer cake you want to cover on all sides. Cheers! Lap It Up, Fuzzball Irish Cream Frosting Ingredients Single layer 1 1/2 cup confectioners' sugar 3 Tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder 3 Tbsp butter, softened 6 Tbsp Irish cream whiskey Double layer 3 cup confectioners' sugar 6 Tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder 6 Tbsp butter, softened 3/4 cup Irish cream whiskey Triple layer 4 1/2 cup confectioners' sugar 1/2 cup + 1 Tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder 9 Tbsp butter, softened 1 1/2 cup Irish cream whiskey Instructions In a m...

... and it's vegan, no less! (Shamelessly ganked from  this recipe for chocolate silk pie , which was shamelessly adapted from  this young lady's recipe , but I've never had much shame about anything, so it's fine.  Sets me up great to shamelessly make this frosting, smear it all over some  vegan wedding cake , and eat it with my bare hands.) ... and I'm not even vegan, wtf. Come to the Dark Side We Have Dark Chocolate Frosting Ingredients 16-20 oz silk tofu 2 tsp cocoa powder 2 Tbsp coffee liqueur OR vanilla extract Pinch salt 1 Tbsp sugar 12 oz vegan dark chocolate* (if you can get your mitts on some  Taza chocolate , you'll have a REAL treat) Instructions In a food processor, combine tofu, cocoa powder, liqueur/vanilla, salt, and sugar. Process until smooth. In a double-boiler (or SUPER carefully in the microwave?  I've heard this works for people, but it has never worked reliably for me) melt your dark chocolate. Pour the melted c...

One of the more entertaining exercises in which a fan of Star Wars  can engage is to quietly comment to a bunch of Very Manly Men with Gatekeeping Tendencies where Star Wars  is concerned that Chewbacca didn't get a medal at the end of the original Star Wars  because those weren't medals, they were the Star Wars  equivalent of wedding rings, and the Throne Room theme  is actually a wedding processional.  Chewie's the obvious correct choice for best man, and why wouldn't Leia officiate?  She's very official. (The sputtering, blustering, "that is NOT what's going on" insisting that results is absolutely hysterical  -- because what's it matter?  It's a fictional story about space wizards and laser swords.  Calm down everybody.) Side-note:  that Throne Room Theme is a wonderful  processional.  Have your own processional picked out if you're having me officiate your nuptials, because if you don't, that's what you're comi...

I am forever losing this recipe because I've not got it written down anywhere localized (read: it wasn't on this blog) and the temptation to complain that I'm well-frosted over its disappearance is too strong for me to resist. This is such a simple recipe, but oh, it's so good.  Even if you don't like cream cheese, you're likely to enjoy this frosting.   The cream cheese makes it feel lighter than a traditional buttercream and adds some sourness to it, which is an absolute delight. I'd say something funny here, but honestly, I'm in a small food coma from eating too many  Annoying Dog gingerbread cookies  frosted with this, so I'll leave this as it is and go drool on something for a while. This recipe makes enough frosting for a double-layer 8" cake, two big pans of brownies, or Far Too Many Annoying Dog cookies.  Divides neatly in half and in quarters, and I'm such a nice guy, I've done the maths for you. You're welcome. I...

I love how incredibly stupid Han Solo is. First, he goes to the homeworld of the gangster who's put a price on his head.  Then, he straight-up murders a dude in broad daylight for trying to collect on that price, and then instead of, I dunno, getting the hell out as fast as he can, he sticks around waiting for some old dude and his snot-nosed Outlands brat buddy to get on his ship, just because they promised they weren't broke.  And then  he totally puts his neck on the chopping block to save a princess because the aforementioned broke snot-nosed Outlands brat promised that she's rich, nevermind the fact that the world on which she was rich was just reduced to what Han thought was an asteroid field, which means her assets' value is questionable at best. He doesn't get any smarter, either.  Bumbles his way through the trilogy like an idiot, gets his dumb ass frozen in carbonite, then doesn't use protection and ends up with a patricidal son.  WHOOPS. Oh well...

Wedge Antilles is a fascinating character.  He doesn't have any special abilities or status, no tragic family backstory or hero's journey.  He's friends with everybody's favorite space farmer Jedi, survives the Death Star  not once but twice , and as of the writing of this recipe, he's survived all the Star Wars  movies and hasn't been tortured by Darth Vader even once. I think that's pretty cool. Almost as cool as this amazing recipe, which can be a main character or a side personality, depending on what role you need it to play, and it tastes like it's a lot of work, but it's so  easy it's almost embarrassing.  I've made it as a side dish to go with  Badass Biker Chick(pea) Burgers , and I've served them as the main course with a hardboiled egg on the side.  They're healthy, delicious, low-carb, gluten-free, soyfree, vegan, all the words -- but they're super tasty, go make 'em. Now. Red Leader Roasted Okra & Par...

Back in 1999, I'd never seen a single Star Wars  movie, but it seemed the entire nation was freaking out over Episode I: The Phantom Menace  coming out, so being the good conformist high school sophomore I was, I bought tickets to the opening night showing and went with all my friends (including and especially the dear soul who would six years later marry me) to see what all the fuss was about. It was a party!  People showed up in costume, carrying brightly colored plastic swords (my dad bought me a red one for the event, I'm pretty sure that means he's cool with my Dark Side tendencies?).  The high school marching band came into the theatre and performed the Title Crawl and Imperial March live (which was AWESOME).  And there was just this ... I don't know, this aura of sheer jubilation suffusing every square inch of breath in the room, a generation of parents who'd raised their children on the orig-trig getting to see a Star Wars  movie along with their...

I have a VIVID childhood memory of stopping somewhere between my grandparents' home in West Virginia and my home in Ohio to eat lunch at a Burger King that had a wall painted dark blue with stars and moons on it and a white quarter-fed pony ride indoors, near that wall.  I don't know if it's real or if I dreamt it, but I suspect the former because I also  have a distinct memory of eating a burger there that was burnt and dry and just really not all that great, and you'd not think that would feature in a dream about a magical Burger King.  Or at least I wouldn't. Anyway, that's kind of where I feel my relationship to burgers started, and started going downhill.  I'm just not really a fan of the things, for all that I get a bee in my bonnet every few years and decide I want to make them.  I've posted turkey burgers , blue cheese turkey burgers , and chickpea burgers over the last decade, and where the latter two in that list are legitimately good, they...

Several days before our 12-year wedding anniversary, my partner texted me: "I want to make food." I looked at that and my first thought was, "Who doesn't?" because cooking is one of my all-time favorite past-times.  But then my rational brain caught up and reminded me that my dear partner will cook only if he's about to drop dead from starvation because cooking just isn't his thing, so I lifted an eyebrow at my phone and responded with:  "What food do you want to make?" I got a picture in answer and lifted the other eyebrow up to meet its mate.  My not-cooking partner wanted to make cheesy meringue nests cradling a gooey egg yolk?  Yes f*cking please ! So that was awesome enough on its own, but then our anniversary showed up and I got to watch him sweat through making these things (perfectly, by the way) and get a deep, personal appreciation for the feat of getting all the pieces of a complex, skill-heavy meal done at the same time so ...

I love pancakes, but man they do not love me back.  Probably because they're nothing but oil and sugar with a bit of processed flour, combined with an egg and fried in butter -- can't imagine  why a human stomach might look at that and say, "Uh, no.  Please and thank you no ." But hey, if you eat pancakes with a veggie-heavy smoothie, they won't kill you as much, and that's awesome because it means you get to eat pancakes, which is just how some weekend days need to go. The name comes from that scene in the original Star Wars  where Luke comes into Leia's holding cell aboard the first Death Star  and tears off his helmet, declaring in his adorably bratty way, "I'm Luke Skywalker!  I'm here to rescue you!"  It must have been humid on that set (I'm betting from the water in the trash compactor, but try not to think about that too hard) because the way his hair fluffs out all over the goddamn place as he's delivering his heroic ...