your goose is probably only half-baked at this point

I am 100% not Indian, and where I will tell you that I love Indian cuisine, I need you to instead hear "I love Indian cuisine made for my American spice tolerance," because I am, in fact, a capsaicin wuss.  This does not stop me from eating the more authentic Indian food offerings in my town, it just means I sit there and sweat and cry and am, generally, an embarrassment. I regret nothing. This dish is my improved take on this recipe , which was ... fine, we'll call it.  Here, I'm hoping you'll read: "It turned out really well but I had to course-correct and fix things along the way and swore a lot and it was really unpleasant ," because that's what happened.  The original isn't authentic, either, just while we're on the topic.  It doesn't call for anything spicy.  Nothing!  A travesty, I say. Anyhow, this is a solid recipe that serves GORGEOUSLY over a green salad, and that, friends, is absolutely my jam.  Give it a go, yeah? Th...

"... you better not pout, I'm telling you why.  Healthy lunch is coming to town~" It's not even Christmas season, but that's stuck in your head now.  You're welcome.  Also, I'm not expert on Santa Claus, but I'd be willing to wager he'd appreciate you leaving this out with the chocolate chip cookies.  Not instead of, but with.  No coal in your stocking this year if you do that. Got the butternut squash recipe from this site , but I'm putting it here because a) things sometimes disappear off the internet and I don't want to lose track of this one, and b) I've added broccoli and egg to my dish, and it's best to keep it all together. You Better Watch Out, You Butternut Squash (with broccoli) Ingredients 1 butternut squash (around 3lb) 1 Tbsp olive oil (I so eyeball this) 1 1/2 tsp ground cumin 1 tsp ground coriander 1/4 tsp cayenne pepper (I eyeballed this, too) Scant 1/2 tsp kosher salt 1/4 tsp fresh ground black ...

(Title from Han Solo's answer to Leia's "I love you" in Empire Strikes Back because I just can't not have a Star Wars reference in things, have you met me.) Writing is a funny thing in many ways (and by "funny" I mean "often torturous," but nevermind), but the most ... useful, I suppose? side-effect I've had from writing is that, when I'm writing characters eating a meal, even if I'm not describing the meal they're eating, I start to crave that meal.  Doesn't matter what it is -- pizza and beer, granola bars, eggs and toast ... or in this case, broccoli cheese soup. (Seriously, never once do I specify that they're eating broccoli cheese soup.  Just "soup."  And yet.  And yet .) This fine recipe is adapted from  this recipe , which I have adjusted to be a) better-suited for the lazy and b) bigger, because leftovers are the best thing EVER.  It makes, so far as I can tell, around ten normal-size serving...

It ain't green but it's Yogurt and really, Yogurt > Yoda every day of the week, fight me. ... and may the schwartz be with you! Yogurt's Pumpkin Pie Yoda Ingredients 6 oz plain, unsweetened yogurt ---> 18 oz tripled 1/4 cup plain pumpkin puree ---> 3/4 cup tripled 1/4 tsp cinnamon ---> 3/4 tsp tripled 1/4 tsp pumpkin pie spice* 3/4 tsp ---> tripled 1 Tbsp maple syrup ---> 3 Tbsp tripled Instructions Combine all of the above. Whisk to combine. Yeah, that's really it.   A few items of interest: This recipe makes two servings. I use a yogurt maker and make my own yogurt.  It's freakin' awesome.  Much nicer for the environment, too, since we're buying far fewer plastic yogurt containers, while still eating a tonne of yogurt. I can triple this recipe and get it all to fit into an old yogurt container, which means I don't have to measure every time, and at the end of a work day bookended by a bike commute?  That...

I was looking for a recipe for an orange-cinnamon glaze for fish and ended up with a recipe for topping for waffles that beats all other toppings forever (and we'd tried a lot of different toppings: maple syrup, honey butter, yogurt, you get the idea).  For the order of operations, I think I'd make the batter for the waffles and start the waffle iron heating, then start the glaze, and make the waffles while the sauce reduces, but this was definitely a science experiment that worked out so well that I'm now trying to reverse-engineer it into something replicable. Also, Mark Hamill looks adorable in bright orange, don't let anybody ever tell you any different. <3 Flightsuit Orange & Banana Glaze Ingredients 2 Tbsp butter, melted 2 Tbsp sugar 1/2 tsp cinnamon 1/2 cup orange juice 2 bananas, sliced 1/2-3/4" thick Instructions In a 9" skillet over medium heat, melt butter. Add sugar and cinnamon and whisk to combine. Add the orange ...

In my quest to a) eat healthier and b) replicate the amazing soba salads at  Bon Me , I have stumbled upon  a delightful recipe  for spicy Moroccan-inspired chickpeas.  However, the recipe is buried under too much scrolling through words and pictures I don't need when I'm hungry , and then when I'm trying to follow the recipe, it throws up pop-ups and calls-to-action and that makes me hangry , which nobody needs. So!  Here's my version of their recipe, ad-free and prefaced with only one photo and very little text.  You're welcome. Bowl full o' healthy Spicy Chickpea Salad Ingredients 1/2 medium yellow onion, coarse-diced 2 cloves garlic, minced Spices: - 1 Tbsp chili powder - 1 Tbsp cumin - 1 tsp garam masala - 1 tsp tumeric - 1 tsp sea salt - 1/4 tsp cinnamon - 1/8 tsp cayenne pepper 28 oz tinned chickpeas, drained 28 oz tinned diced tomatoes WITH liquid 2 cups frozen spinach For the rest of the salad, I include: - Greens - Shre...

I HAVEN'T MADE THIS RECIPE YET.  JUST UPLOADING IT HERE SO I'LL HAVE MY RECIPE AT HAND WHEN I'M READY TO TRY IT OUT.  WILL UPDATE ONCE IT'S BEEN TESTED. Smashburger should get quite a lot of credit for this recipe, because holy crap  is their New Englander black bean burger amazing, but they're also to blame for it because they're too far from my house for me to walk there and get the New Englander whenever the spirit moves me, so here we are. Adapted from  this delightful recipe  and saved here so it doesn't walk away from me. The name comes from how hard this recipe punches, and how awesome it is to have the sweet glow of the cranberries against the dark power of the burger.  Just don't choke on it.  That's bad for you. Vader's Fist Black Bean Burgers (with cranberries) Ingredients 1 15-oz can black beans Olive oil for sauteeing 1/4 cup bell pepper 1/2 onion, diced 2 cloves garlic 3/4 tsp cumin 1/2 tsp chili powder 1/4 tsp g...

Omurice (omelette rice) is something of a staple comfort food in Japan, and Loco Moco is something of a comfort food in Hawaii, and since both traditionally contain meat, I've not gotten to enjoy either since I became a vegetarian in 2014.  Five years I've gone without my favorite comfort foods, and that is just not okay. Well, until now.  I've fixed it now. This meal's kind of a pain in the ass to read through, instruction-wise, but it's not all that hard to make, really.  You invest about an hour in it the first time you make it, but then you get leftovers sufficient for like 4 more meals-for-two, and making it after you've gone through the trouble the first time is easier than falling in love with Luke Skywalker again , ask me how I know any of these things. It's also really delicious and really impressive and goes unnecessarily well with green tea, beer, and butter mochi .  Ask me how I know that, too. Don't let the ingredient list or instruc...

I have such  a weakness for Irish cream.  One of my favorites -- if not my favorite -- form of alcohol.  And now that I've discovered that I can make frosting out of it?  Please send help, my waistline weeps. But send a cake along with the help, because I've got this great frosting, see, and we could frost a cake with it ... This makes the perfect amount to put on top of one single layer of cake.  I'd triple it for a double-layer cake you want to cover on all sides. Cheers! Lap It Up, Fuzzball Irish Cream Frosting Ingredients Single layer 1 1/2 cup confectioners' sugar 3 Tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder 3 Tbsp butter, softened 6 Tbsp Irish cream whiskey Double layer 3 cup confectioners' sugar 6 Tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder 6 Tbsp butter, softened 3/4 cup Irish cream whiskey Triple layer 4 1/2 cup confectioners' sugar 1/2 cup + 1 Tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder 9 Tbsp butter, softened 1 1/2 cup Irish cream whiskey Instructions In a m...

Guardian of the Sacred Spirit  is my all-time favorite anime, due in very large part to the way Balsa, the main character, is portrayed to be multi-faceted, flawed, human, and -- most importantly -- kick-ass.  My favorite line of hers is in the first episode, when she's just beat up a bunch of men sent to kill her, she points her spear at the final guy and says, "You'll die twice before you draw your sword." I live  for moments of verbal genius, heavens. Now we've been enjoying  Boba Fett Died like a B*tch  brussels sprouts for some years now (about as long as I've been babbling endlessly about Star Wars , really), but this recipe -- much like Balsa's characterization as a protagonist -- elevates the art to the point that you almost feel sorry for its inferior.  And I'll still eat Boba Fett sprouts, just like I'll still watch Star Wars , but there's no competition between it and Guardian , just as there's no competition between this rec...

A thousand years ago when I first decided to give a plant-based diet a try, I decided to be That Vegetarian and turn my nose up at things like tinned beans and frozen vegetables.  This was a mistake.  You can find that mistake  here , but you shouldn't, really.  Follow this recipe instead. (Inspired by  this recipe , changed to make it easier for me to be incredibly lazy.  True story.) OH.  And it's super good for you!  I don't usually think of lazy-molly food as being on the healthy end of the scale, but this one actually is!  Will wonders never cease.  Give it a go! I'm Dreaming of a White Bean Soup Ingredients 4-5 cloves garlic, minced 2-3 Tbsp olive oil 60 oz cannellini beans, drained 2 cups frozen spinach 2 cups milk (I use soy) 6 oz Monterrey jack cheese, shredded 4 oz Parmesan cheese 1 tsp black pepper Salt to taste 1 egg per bowl of soup you want to serve A bit more olive oil A bit of water Instructi...

I don't get why this bread works.  Really, I don't.  Isn't bread supposed to be a huge pain in the ass to make?  Like, fiddly and time-consuming and frustrating?  Always has been for me when I've made yeast breads. Not so with this one.  This is a throw-it-together-and-forget-about-it-while-it-bakes exercise in laziness and gluttony and it is amazing . Must be tasted to be believed, and believe you me, you'll want to make another loaf as soon as the first one is gone (which won't take long; this stuff is good ). Hold My Beer (Bread) Ingredients 3 cups all-purpose flour (spooned and leveled, or sifted if you're feeling fancy) 1 Tbsp baking powder 2 Tbsp white sugar 1/4 tsp salt 12 oz liquid (see note below)* 4 Tbsp butter (1/2 stick; 1/4 cup), plus some to butter the pan Instructions Preheat oven to 375*F. Liberally butter the bottom and sides of a 9.5" x 5" bread loaf pan. In a medium mixing bowl, whisk together the dry ing...

... and it's vegan, no less! (Shamelessly ganked from  this recipe for chocolate silk pie , which was shamelessly adapted from  this young lady's recipe , but I've never had much shame about anything, so it's fine.  Sets me up great to shamelessly make this frosting, smear it all over some  vegan wedding cake , and eat it with my bare hands.) ... and I'm not even vegan, wtf. Come to the Dark Side We Have Dark Chocolate Frosting Ingredients 16-20 oz silk tofu 2 tsp cocoa powder 2 Tbsp coffee liqueur OR vanilla extract Pinch salt 1 Tbsp sugar 12 oz vegan dark chocolate* (if you can get your mitts on some  Taza chocolate , you'll have a REAL treat) Instructions In a food processor, combine tofu, cocoa powder, liqueur/vanilla, salt, and sugar. Process until smooth. In a double-boiler (or SUPER carefully in the microwave?  I've heard this works for people, but it has never worked reliably for me) melt your dark chocolate. Pour the melted c...

Beer cheese soup is one of those dishes I first had when I was in graduate school, and it was ... fine.  I had it at a pub, and it was all right, nothing wrong with it, but it was just ... it was just fine , not earth-shattering or anything.  My partner loves it, though, so I went online and found a Wisconsin native's recipe for the stuff, and after several attempts and tweaks, now have a beer cheese soup that I will fight folks over.  It's just unnecessarily good. For my own record, this iteration of the recipe originally had 2 carrots and 1 zucchini in it instead of the full dose of carrots because I'm the genius who goes to the store to buy carrots and a bag of sugar and comes home with neither item in my shopping bags.  GO ME. Beerbelly Beer Cheese Soup Note :  You need TWO soup-pots for this nonsense, and it's best if one of them is nonstick. Ingredients 1 Tbsp olive oil 5 carrots, cut into 1/2" coins 1 lb Brussels sprouts, halved 3 stalks cel...

I don't have much to say about this dish, mostly because I just ate a big bowl of it alongside a genuinely delightful  Badass Biker Chick(pea) Burger  and a cup of strawberries in applesauce -- pretty much the perfect meal to eat after slogging home on a bike in 98* weather.  I'm sure there's a long-winded story in my brain somewhere about how I had pumpkin soup for the first time while studying abroad to Japan fifteen years ago, and an observation that I've been meaning to learn to make pumpkin soup for fifteen-odd years, but that's honestly not all that interesting and the soup's so easy and quick that you can make it faster than I can bore you with my stories. Credit where credit is due:  It's almost exactly copied from  The Minimalist Baker's site , but she a) makes her pumpkin puree from scratch, which is way more effort than I'm going to put into a side-dish and b) goes on and on and ON forever about this soup with picture after picture after...

Japanese curry is one of those comfort foods that tastes and feels good all year 'round, no matter the weather or your stomach or ... anything, really.  This is my favorite way to prepare it, with plenty of vegetables and some nice scrambled eggs for texture.  Doubling the recipe is super easy, and it makes fantastic leftovers for work-nights that aren't otherwise conducive to cooking. My sense of humor's napping right now, so no jokes here.  Just good comfort food. Eat Your Veggies Japanese Curry Ingredients 1 tbsp olive oil 3-4 large carrots 3 medium yellow potatoes 2 medium onions 1 lb frozen brussels sprouts, halved 3 cups water 4.25 oz instant Japanese curry sauce (I use Golden brand) 15 oz coconut milk Dash red pepper flakes 3 cups frozen spinach 6 eggs 1 tbsp olive oil Sliced bread for toasting Instructions Heat oil in a big ol' soup pot. Cut up carrots into 1/4"-1/2" pieces. Toss them into the pot and stir them around, then...

Several years ago, I found a recipe called  Fat-burning Cabbage Soup , and where the ingredients all sounded delicious, I'm not a fan of recipes that make declarations about my corporeal form, so it took me approximately eight thousand years to actually get around to trying it.  The results were ... okay, I guess.  The soup was SUPER bland and tasted like something you'd only eat if you were desperate to meet some sort of social standard for your physical appearance (which is stupid and you shouldn't do it -- you're beautiful how you are). However, I had this GIANT soup-pot of disappointing soup to deal with, now (this recipe makes a LOT of food), so I added some spices and garlic and an egg on top, and all of a sudden, I had a dish that I really liked and my partner couldn't get enough of.  Seriously, the look on his face when I said I was going to make another batch?  You'd've thought Christmas and his birthday had both teamed up to bring him cheer and h...

I was looking for a Farmers' Market that sells local eggs and accidentally discovered that a) Somerville, MA, which is next door to where I live, is the birthplace of Marshmallow Fluff , b) this year (2017) marks the 100th birthday of Marshmallow Fluff, and c) to celebrate, the Union Square Farmers' Market is hosting an entire event dedicated to the celebration of Marshmallow Fluff. Part of that event is a cooking contest.  I can't NOT enter something like that, come ON. This is my entry. Gimme S'more'a that Fluffernutter Pie Ingredients Marshmallow fluff, divided: 1/2 cup + 1/2 cup + 1/2 cup = 1 1/2 cups total 13 graham crackers 16 oz silk tofu 1/2 cup unsalted smooth peanut butter 2 tsp cocoa powder 1 Tbsp white sugar Pinch salt 2 oz milk (I used soy, but I don't think it matters) 12 oz dark chocolate chips The patience of a saint (required; see * below) Instructions - Break 3 1/4 graham crackers into their small rectangle pieces and...

Five or six years ago, I hated cornbread.  Now, I'll shank a b*tch over it. This recipe gets all the credit. (And it's vegan, but don't tell anybody.  It's delicious and that's all they need to know.) Everybody Loves Cornbread Ingredients 1 cup flour (whole wheat, white, rye, knock yourself out here) 1 cup cornmeal (yellow, accept no substitutes) 1 Tbsp baking powder 1/2 tsp salt (DON'T leave this out) Scant 1/2 cup white sugar* 1 Tbsp molasses* 1/2 cup pack pumpkin 1 cup milk (of the soy, almond, cashew, or rice variety if you're going for vegan cornbread) 1/4 cup natural, unsweetened applesauce * Or use 1/4 cup white sugar and 1/4 cup brown sugar, if you can be bothered to keep brown sugar around the house (I can't). Instructions - Preheat the oven to 400*F. - In a medium mixing bowl, whisk together the dry ingredients and molasses. - Make a well in the middle and dump in the wet ingredients. - Whisk the wet ingredients, ...

Squishy, warm, tasty, and easy -- this is comfort food at its finest.  (It's also good for you, but don't tell it I told you so, it doesn't need to know that.) Inspired by this lovely recipe and made on a day I got some stupidly superfluous bad news and needed some comfort.  Hoping it sends some love your way when you need it most. Comfy Quesadilla Ingredients 1 medium sweet potato 1 Tbsp butter or coconut oil 1/2 tsp cinnamon A few shakes of cayenne pepper 1 15.5 oz can black beans 1 tsp dry cilantro Dash salt 1 cup shredded cheese of your choice, divided into 1/4 cup servings 4 tortillas Olive oil for cooking Instructions - Scrub the sweet potato, then slice it into 3/4" slices and dice those slices.  Don't peel it, the peel is good for you. - Put the sweet potato into a medium mixing bowl with ~1 Tbsp water.  Cover the bowl with a plate and microwave for 3 minutes.  Stir and microwave for another 3 minutes.  Leave the plate on t...