your goose is probably only half-baked at this point

Funny story for you. Thursday, we ran out of fresh salad greens, so we popped by the grocery and picked up two big tubs of greens.  Saturday, our farm share portion arrived, containing a smaller-but-still-substantial tub of fresh greens, and a smaller-but-spicier tub of microgreens. Sunday, I drove my partner to the airport so he could go see his grandfather, who had had a stroke and was in need of family to keep him distracted from hating his physical therapist. Which meant that I was facing a week alone with what measured out to approximately one (1) metric fuck-tonne of fresh greens.  Like, enough that it would be PLENTY for two people. I am one people.  You may see where this would cause concern. Except not for me!  I've totally  got this.  "I'll just eat salad for breakfast, lunch, and dinner the whole week you're gone!" I announced to my partner, who looked at me like that was the worst thing he could imagine.  "Either I'll be the healt...

I am 100% not Indian, and where I will tell you that I love Indian cuisine, I need you to instead hear "I love Indian cuisine made for my American spice tolerance," because I am, in fact, a capsaicin wuss.  This does not stop me from eating the more authentic Indian food offerings in my town, it just means I sit there and sweat and cry and am, generally, an embarrassment. I regret nothing. This dish is my improved take on this recipe , which was ... fine, we'll call it.  Here, I'm hoping you'll read: "It turned out really well but I had to course-correct and fix things along the way and swore a lot and it was really unpleasant ," because that's what happened.  The original isn't authentic, either, just while we're on the topic.  It doesn't call for anything spicy.  Nothing!  A travesty, I say. Anyhow, this is a solid recipe that serves GORGEOUSLY over a green salad, and that, friends, is absolutely my jam.  Give it a go, yeah? Th...

"... you better not pout, I'm telling you why.  Healthy lunch is coming to town~" It's not even Christmas season, but that's stuck in your head now.  You're welcome.  Also, I'm not expert on Santa Claus, but I'd be willing to wager he'd appreciate you leaving this out with the chocolate chip cookies.  Not instead of, but with.  No coal in your stocking this year if you do that. Got the butternut squash recipe from this site , but I'm putting it here because a) things sometimes disappear off the internet and I don't want to lose track of this one, and b) I've added broccoli and egg to my dish, and it's best to keep it all together. You Better Watch Out, You Butternut Squash (with broccoli) Ingredients 1 butternut squash (around 3lb) 1 Tbsp olive oil (I so eyeball this) 1 1/2 tsp ground cumin 1 tsp ground coriander 1/4 tsp cayenne pepper (I eyeballed this, too) Scant 1/2 tsp kosher salt 1/4 tsp fresh ground black ...

Once upon a time, I signed up for a Farm Share, and in our first delivery, received beets.  Now I don't like beets, but I've never had a fresh beet, so I thought, fine, maybe I can turn this into something I'll like.  Went out and found a great recipe, came into the kitchen ready to expand my palette ... only to peel my beets and discover that they were, in fact, turnips. WHOOPS. So I quickly googled around for a recipe and came across this lovely recipe , which I have of course adapted because have you met me .  And you know?  It made arguably the most delicious roast vegetable salad I've ever eaten.  Unexpected victory is still a victory, y'all. This instantly entered into my rotation of "stuff molly will make when she doesn't have the energy to make something," and that  is a prestigious award in anyone's book. Turnip for What Salad Ingredients (for two salads) 2 whole turnips (I use scarlet 'cause that's what my farm share...

Ahh this recipe.  I pulled it originally from  this site , but a) I have to double it and b) I have altered the recipe (pray I don't alter it further).  It's so easy, takes me maybe 45 minutes in total to make, and ... y'all it's just so good .  Comfort food to the max that doesn't have all the bloat-y carbs you usually get with comfort food. It's not at all authentic Thai food, but who the hell cares?  It's delicious and I love it, so there. It's Not Fishy to Curry Favor with Me (Thai Curry Whitefish) Ingredients 2 bell peppers, one red and one yellow, cut into 1/2"ish pieces 2 carrots, diced into 1/4"ish pieces 1 medium-large yellow onion, course-chopped 1 cup frozen green peas 2 cloves garlic, minced 1/2 tsp salt (do NOT omit) 2 Tbsp curry powder 1 tsp red pepper flakes 2 Tbsp lime juice 1/4 cup neutral oil (I use peanut oil, canola would work too) 15ish oz coconut milk 1.5-2 lb whitefish (halibut or haddock) Fresh mi...

Read the ingredient list and the title'll make way more sense. Procured this recipe from this delightful site and made it for my mother-in-law.  She liked it far more than she usually likes healthy cooking.  I like maple syrup yogurt as a topping for mine, though one can never go amiss with butter and maple syrup . TOP THEM WITH FLIGHTSUIT ORANGE & BANANA GLAZE OMG IT'S SO GOOD. <cough> Oh, and if you make them in a Star Wars  waffle iron, they're good for you and  fun. WHIMSY.   Regular-ass Waffles Ingredients 1/2 cup rye flour 1/2 cup whole wheat flour 1 tsp baking powder 1/2 tsp cinnamon Dash salt 2 Tbsp brown sugar  OR 2 Tbsp white sugar + 1/4 tsp molasses 1 cup milk (I used whole cow milk, but any milk should be fine) 1 tsp vanilla 1 egg OR 1/4 cup pack puree pumpkin 2 Tbsp oil (I used olive oil) Instructions In a small mixing bowl, whisk together the dry ingredients. In a 2-cup liquid mea...

In my quest to a) eat healthier and b) replicate the amazing soba salads at  Bon Me , I have stumbled upon  a delightful recipe  for spicy Moroccan-inspired chickpeas.  However, the recipe is buried under too much scrolling through words and pictures I don't need when I'm hungry , and then when I'm trying to follow the recipe, it throws up pop-ups and calls-to-action and that makes me hangry , which nobody needs. So!  Here's my version of their recipe, ad-free and prefaced with only one photo and very little text.  You're welcome. Bowl full o' healthy Spicy Chickpea Salad Ingredients 1/2 medium yellow onion, coarse-diced 2 cloves garlic, minced Spices: - 1 Tbsp chili powder - 1 Tbsp cumin - 1 tsp garam masala - 1 tsp tumeric - 1 tsp sea salt - 1/4 tsp cinnamon - 1/8 tsp cayenne pepper 28 oz tinned chickpeas, drained 28 oz tinned diced tomatoes WITH liquid 2 cups frozen spinach For the rest of the salad, I include: - Greens - Shre...

I do love a good challenge, and making things that are a) vegan, b) gluten-free, and c) still delicious is one of my favorite  challenges out there.  I originally started adapting this recipe  so I could bake for a vegan colleague, but then I found out that he's allergic to both peanuts and chickpeas, so that's me back to the drawing board for him, but as a nice side-effect, I now have a recipe for AMAZING chocolate chip cookies that are approximately 200% less a pain in my ass than regular chocolate chip cookies. And they're full of chickpeas and peanut butter, so they're ... actually sort of good for you?  Will wonders never cease. The only real difference between these and the usual chocolate chip cookies of the world is that they're not at all improved by dipping them in milk (I personally like them better with a cup of unsweetened green tea than I do with a cup of milk) and they're better cooled than warm straight from the oven.  They're also irresi...

Omurice (omelette rice) is something of a staple comfort food in Japan, and Loco Moco is something of a comfort food in Hawaii, and since both traditionally contain meat, I've not gotten to enjoy either since I became a vegetarian in 2014.  Five years I've gone without my favorite comfort foods, and that is just not okay. Well, until now.  I've fixed it now. This meal's kind of a pain in the ass to read through, instruction-wise, but it's not all that hard to make, really.  You invest about an hour in it the first time you make it, but then you get leftovers sufficient for like 4 more meals-for-two, and making it after you've gone through the trouble the first time is easier than falling in love with Luke Skywalker again , ask me how I know any of these things. It's also really delicious and really impressive and goes unnecessarily well with green tea, beer, and butter mochi .  Ask me how I know that, too. Don't let the ingredient list or instruc...

Why  would anyone ever pay for this in the store?  It's stupid-easy to make and tastes amazing made at home.  Pretty sure I'm in love. Also tonnes of love to the lady who posted  this amazing video  on how to make homemade horchata.  I've tweaked the recipe a little (because of course  I have) but she was the original inspiration. You can make this in about 2 hours, but all said it takes about 5 minutes of work.  Gonna bet that it's amazing in the summertime, but it's January and 17*F/-8*C where I am and I'm enjoying it. so maybe it's just that good. . Not maybe.  Definitely.  This drink is good . Horton Hears a Horchata Ingredients 3/4 cup rice -- whatever you have in the house 1 1/2 cup water, warm to a simmer 1 Tbsp vanilla 14 oz sweetened condensed milk 12 oz evaporated milk 1 1/2 tsp cinnamon 6 cups drinking water 12 ice cubes Instructions In a cereal bowl, combine rice and warm water, stirring just until ...

2018 was just a really good year for me, bringing with it innumerable blessings, one of which being some nice holiday traditions that helped ease down the blues I normally feel toward the year's end.  Our most recent new tradition is that of making a  cheesecake  on New Year's Eve that isn't done and ready to eat until New Year's Day, making it a nice treat that spans the two years.  I don't actually know if you can call it a tradition until you've done it more than once, now that I'm typing it all out, but whatever, it was so awesome to have cheesecake for breakfast on the first day of the new year that it's going to happen again next December, see if it doesn't. Anyway!  I wanted to make a special topping for our cheesecake and, while trolling through all the recipes I've saved over the course of the year, discovered that I had a recipe saved for  candied pecans  that claimed to be easy and quick -- 5 minutes, start-to finish.  After all the ...

I love puns. They're the perfect joke -- groan-worthy, too quick for the unsuspecting to dodge them, delightfully cheesy.  And puns that go along with food are even better!  No one can complain all that  much about them without running the risk of not getting any food, and no one in their right mind is going to run that risk, so. I bring this up because this particular recipe was the final course of a meal that consisted of: Potato soup Roasted carrots and parsnips (& other veggies) Root beer bread Ginger ale (the good stuff from Trader Joe's, mmm) Sweet potato pie puffs for dessert Each dish involves a root vegetable, so I called the meal " Root Access ."  So far, I've gotten two groans and a good handful of "oh god that's so good I hate it" responses from the peanut gallery, which I'm counting as a complete win. You don't have  to make these as part of a Root Access meal, but they're super good with it.  Highly re...

A thousand years ago when I first decided to give a plant-based diet a try, I decided to be That Vegetarian and turn my nose up at things like tinned beans and frozen vegetables.  This was a mistake.  You can find that mistake  here , but you shouldn't, really.  Follow this recipe instead. (Inspired by  this recipe , changed to make it easier for me to be incredibly lazy.  True story.) OH.  And it's super good for you!  I don't usually think of lazy-molly food as being on the healthy end of the scale, but this one actually is!  Will wonders never cease.  Give it a go! I'm Dreaming of a White Bean Soup Ingredients 4-5 cloves garlic, minced 2-3 Tbsp olive oil 60 oz cannellini beans, drained 2 cups frozen spinach 2 cups milk (I use soy) 6 oz Monterrey jack cheese, shredded 4 oz Parmesan cheese 1 tsp black pepper Salt to taste 1 egg per bowl of soup you want to serve A bit more olive oil A bit of water Instructi...

I don't get why this bread works.  Really, I don't.  Isn't bread supposed to be a huge pain in the ass to make?  Like, fiddly and time-consuming and frustrating?  Always has been for me when I've made yeast breads. Not so with this one.  This is a throw-it-together-and-forget-about-it-while-it-bakes exercise in laziness and gluttony and it is amazing . Must be tasted to be believed, and believe you me, you'll want to make another loaf as soon as the first one is gone (which won't take long; this stuff is good ). Hold My Beer (Bread) Ingredients 3 cups all-purpose flour (spooned and leveled, or sifted if you're feeling fancy) 1 Tbsp baking powder 2 Tbsp white sugar 1/4 tsp salt 12 oz liquid (see note below)* 4 Tbsp butter (1/2 stick; 1/4 cup), plus some to butter the pan Instructions Preheat oven to 375*F. Liberally butter the bottom and sides of a 9.5" x 5" bread loaf pan. In a medium mixing bowl, whisk together the dry ing...

You know that vegan cooking has arrived when a pair of non-vegans do a cake taste-test for their wedding cake and decide that the vegan cake option is, hands-down, the BEST cake out of all the options.  Like, nobody cares that it's vegan, so much as they care that it's just plain delicious.  Which it is, really -- dense and not too sweet, but very vanilla-y, a perfect offset to the sweetness of  the best-ever cream cheese vanilla buttercream frosting  I smeared all over it.  Oh, and because it's so dense, we had no problems at all with the wedding cake trying to tip over, despite being three layers tall, made taller by the amount of frosting I shoved between the layers. Yup. The groom's cake , on the other hand, was completely, unnecessarily vegan, frosted with a vegan tofu chocolate frosting that defies description, it's so tasty.  One batch of the stuff was enough to frost 6 cupcakes and thickly frost the moustache cake and still have probably half ...

Beer cheese soup is one of those dishes I first had when I was in graduate school, and it was ... fine.  I had it at a pub, and it was all right, nothing wrong with it, but it was just ... it was just fine , not earth-shattering or anything.  My partner loves it, though, so I went online and found a Wisconsin native's recipe for the stuff, and after several attempts and tweaks, now have a beer cheese soup that I will fight folks over.  It's just unnecessarily good. For my own record, this iteration of the recipe originally had 2 carrots and 1 zucchini in it instead of the full dose of carrots because I'm the genius who goes to the store to buy carrots and a bag of sugar and comes home with neither item in my shopping bags.  GO ME. Beerbelly Beer Cheese Soup Note :  You need TWO soup-pots for this nonsense, and it's best if one of them is nonstick. Ingredients 1 Tbsp olive oil 5 carrots, cut into 1/2" coins 1 lb Brussels sprouts, halved 3 stalks cel...

I don't have much to say about this dish, mostly because I just ate a big bowl of it alongside a genuinely delightful  Badass Biker Chick(pea) Burger  and a cup of strawberries in applesauce -- pretty much the perfect meal to eat after slogging home on a bike in 98* weather.  I'm sure there's a long-winded story in my brain somewhere about how I had pumpkin soup for the first time while studying abroad to Japan fifteen years ago, and an observation that I've been meaning to learn to make pumpkin soup for fifteen-odd years, but that's honestly not all that interesting and the soup's so easy and quick that you can make it faster than I can bore you with my stories. Credit where credit is due:  It's almost exactly copied from  The Minimalist Baker's site , but she a) makes her pumpkin puree from scratch, which is way more effort than I'm going to put into a side-dish and b) goes on and on and ON forever about this soup with picture after picture after...

Japanese curry is one of those comfort foods that tastes and feels good all year 'round, no matter the weather or your stomach or ... anything, really.  This is my favorite way to prepare it, with plenty of vegetables and some nice scrambled eggs for texture.  Doubling the recipe is super easy, and it makes fantastic leftovers for work-nights that aren't otherwise conducive to cooking. My sense of humor's napping right now, so no jokes here.  Just good comfort food. Eat Your Veggies Japanese Curry Ingredients 1 tbsp olive oil 3-4 large carrots 3 medium yellow potatoes 2 medium onions 1 lb frozen brussels sprouts, halved 3 cups water 4.25 oz instant Japanese curry sauce (I use Golden brand) 15 oz coconut milk Dash red pepper flakes 3 cups frozen spinach 6 eggs 1 tbsp olive oil Sliced bread for toasting Instructions Heat oil in a big ol' soup pot. Cut up carrots into 1/4"-1/2" pieces. Toss them into the pot and stir them around, then...

This recipe is lifted pretty much wholesale from John's Foodwishes.com blog , but I've posted it here for two THREE reasons: 1. He doesn't put okra in his gumbo, which is ridiculous (in my opinion), and since it's not in his recipe, I nearly forget it every time; and 2. He doesn't have the instructions written down. Anywhere. You have to watch the video to get the cook-times and order of additions. 3. His ingredients aren't listed in the order you use them. Of all my massive, enormous, RAGING pet-peeves when it comes to recipe-writing, THIS IS PROBABLY THE BIGGEST. I'm sure the whole watch-the-video-every-time thing does wonders for jacking up his hit-counter on YouTube, but it also does wonders for jacking up my cooking, which considering how often I cook this after a full day of work and too many miles of bike-commuting, is not cool, dude. Not cool at all. So here it is, Chef John's chicken and sausage gumbo, which I learned to cook because o...

Several years ago, I found a recipe called  Fat-burning Cabbage Soup , and where the ingredients all sounded delicious, I'm not a fan of recipes that make declarations about my corporeal form, so it took me approximately eight thousand years to actually get around to trying it.  The results were ... okay, I guess.  The soup was SUPER bland and tasted like something you'd only eat if you were desperate to meet some sort of social standard for your physical appearance (which is stupid and you shouldn't do it -- you're beautiful how you are). However, I had this GIANT soup-pot of disappointing soup to deal with, now (this recipe makes a LOT of food), so I added some spices and garlic and an egg on top, and all of a sudden, I had a dish that I really liked and my partner couldn't get enough of.  Seriously, the look on his face when I said I was going to make another batch?  You'd've thought Christmas and his birthday had both teamed up to bring him cheer and h...