your goose is probably only half-baked at this point

So there's this awesome fan theory  out there that Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker isn't actually Luke's father, that Obi-wan Kenobi was actually his father, and it makes watching the prequels ... well, still a really bad idea, but it makes the orig-trig all kinds of fascinating to rewatch. I mean, they're already fun to rewatch  mostly because Mark Hamill's in them  but this adds an undercurrent of flavor. A hint of darkness, you might say. Much like the espresso in these cookies. By now, you've probably encountered cookies made using boxed cake mix , which is just the loveliest of easy cookie recipes out there, and this one is very similar to it, save that it uses espresso powder and butter and kind of accidentally gives you chewy Oreos you can make at home whenever you want . And that's just plain exciting. So join me in making these cookies, and together we will rule the galaxy as ... fat and sugar and oh god someone save me from these cookies they...

Henry David Thoreau once wrote the famous piece of advice: Simplify, simplify, simplify. He'd likely be patently horrified  by this recipe, I should think, because I took the idea of a two-ingredient cake (which involves mixing a can of pumpkin with a can of spice cake and baking it until it's done) and turned it into what amounts to carrot cake that lacks carrot but has a bajillion other ingredients in it instead. Whoops. The cake's super good, though! I made the first one with a spice cake, and it was all right, then I made the second one to the specifications you see here, only I'd had a really trying day at work and was exorcising my anxieties via baking, and there was definitely a glass of very potent wine involved somewhere along the line, and so at some point I discovered that not only is it TOTALLY possible to separate your thumbnail from the rest of your thumb by picking at the frilly butt-end of a granny smith apple, it really bloody hurts  because apple...

So everyone within three zip-codes of me knows that I have an unhealthy adoration for Luke Skywalker, that R2D2 will always be my #1 favorite Star Wars  character (accept no substitutions), and that Chewbacca deserves WAY more love than he gets in canon and fandom and everything in between. What they may not know is that Lando Calrissian makes me seriously question my sexual orientation which, until 27 December 2015 when I saw The Empire Strikes Back  for the first time, was pretty securely pansexual with a heavy tilt towards women. Then Lando sauntered on the scene and into my heart in those goddamn polyester bellbottoms lord preserve me  and I needed to take a moment to remember how to breathe . This cake reminds me of him: Rich, beautiful, delicious, and riddled with all kinds of guilt. In Lando's case, the guilt comes from selling out his dear friend to a vacuum cleaner with a nasty attitude and a breathing problem. In the cake's case, it comes from the amount of ...