your goose is probably only half-baked at this point

I love pancakes, but man they do not love me back.  Probably because they're nothing but oil and sugar with a bit of processed flour, combined with an egg and fried in butter -- can't imagine  why a human stomach might look at that and say, "Uh, no.  Please and thank you no ." But hey, if you eat pancakes with a veggie-heavy smoothie, they won't kill you as much, and that's awesome because it means you get to eat pancakes, which is just how some weekend days need to go. The name comes from that scene in the original Star Wars  where Luke comes into Leia's holding cell aboard the first Death Star  and tears off his helmet, declaring in his adorably bratty way, "I'm Luke Skywalker!  I'm here to rescue you!"  It must have been humid on that set (I'm betting from the water in the trash compactor, but try not to think about that too hard) because the way his hair fluffs out all over the goddamn place as he's delivering his heroic ...

I accidentally became a vegetarian in May 2014, and where there've been many benefits to that, the best, I think, is that I eat breakfast every single morning now. Never before had I done that, ever , and now I get all cranky if I don't get to have breakfast. This breakfast, specifically. (For the record, I ate 320 of these in 2015 and 323 of these in 2016 and as of today, the 19th day in the Year of Our Lord 2017, I've eaten 19. I really, really  like this smoothie.) We have the ingredients written down on a sticky note in the kitchen because making breakfast while half-asleep is just not okay most mornings, but at request I'm putting it here. I'm not picky about my protein powders, so long as they're not wicked high in cholesterol or sugar. I tend to like vanilla the least and chocolate the best and strawberry's okay or whatever, nothing to write home about. Really it's all about the banana and oat flavor, for me, because mmm bananas and oats. ...

When looking for a cookie recipe, most folks aren't going to be looking for words like "gluten free," "vegan," or "cholesterol free." Most folks are going to be looking for "delicious," "chewy," and "addictive," because these are the things all good cookies should be. These are both. The name comes from the fact that they taste (to me) like Thailand, thanks to the mix of coconut and lemon, and they're bite-size, so they were originally going to be Thai Bites, but then that came out of my mouth as "Thai biters," and that  sounded like TIE Fighters, and because there is something wrong with me , I became overly enthusiastic and the name stuck. (Also TIE fighters are way, way  cooler than X-wings forever and always and they shouldn't be because they are bad guy ships  so have a contradiction as striking as these stupid cookies.) OH and don't expect these cookies to last very long. They wo...

When I was little, my parents got me the Random House book of Short Stories (which must be out of print because I can't find it anywhere - you'll have to trust me that it's a thing). I loved that book so much, loved all the stories in it, even the one about the green knight who got his head cut off for being a knave. There was one (no knights or beheadings involved) in which a dad and his sons made a lemon pudding, if memory serves, for the boys' mother. It was a funny story - the boys got into trouble for eating too much of the pie, so the dad gave them a beating (beat the eggs) and a whipping (whip the cream) to teach them a lesson - and in the end, Mom gets the pie and says that it tastes like a thousand lemons in the rafters, like the full moon in the sky (something to that effect, anyway). This is not that pie. It is, however, what that pie wanted to be when it grew up. I found the original recipe somewhere between two and three o'clock in the morning, bec...