your goose is probably only half-baked at this point

I don't get why this bread works.  Really, I don't.  Isn't bread supposed to be a huge pain in the ass to make?  Like, fiddly and time-consuming and frustrating?  Always has been for me when I've made yeast breads. Not so with this one.  This is a throw-it-together-and-forget-about-it-while-it-bakes exercise in laziness and gluttony and it is amazing . Must be tasted to be believed, and believe you me, you'll want to make another loaf as soon as the first one is gone (which won't take long; this stuff is good ). Hold My Beer (Bread) Ingredients 3 cups all-purpose flour (spooned and leveled, or sifted if you're feeling fancy) 1 Tbsp baking powder 2 Tbsp white sugar 1/4 tsp salt 12 oz liquid (see note below)* 4 Tbsp butter (1/2 stick; 1/4 cup), plus some to butter the pan Instructions Preheat oven to 375*F. Liberally butter the bottom and sides of a 9.5" x 5" bread loaf pan. In a medium mixing bowl, whisk together the dry ing...

I love how incredibly stupid Han Solo is. First, he goes to the homeworld of the gangster who's put a price on his head.  Then, he straight-up murders a dude in broad daylight for trying to collect on that price, and then instead of, I dunno, getting the hell out as fast as he can, he sticks around waiting for some old dude and his snot-nosed Outlands brat buddy to get on his ship, just because they promised they weren't broke.  And then  he totally puts his neck on the chopping block to save a princess because the aforementioned broke snot-nosed Outlands brat promised that she's rich, nevermind the fact that the world on which she was rich was just reduced to what Han thought was an asteroid field, which means her assets' value is questionable at best. He doesn't get any smarter, either.  Bumbles his way through the trilogy like an idiot, gets his dumb ass frozen in carbonite, then doesn't use protection and ends up with a patricidal son.  WHOOPS. Oh well...

So there's this awesome fan theory  out there that Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker isn't actually Luke's father, that Obi-wan Kenobi was actually his father, and it makes watching the prequels ... well, still a really bad idea, but it makes the orig-trig all kinds of fascinating to rewatch. I mean, they're already fun to rewatch  mostly because Mark Hamill's in them  but this adds an undercurrent of flavor. A hint of darkness, you might say. Much like the espresso in these cookies. By now, you've probably encountered cookies made using boxed cake mix , which is just the loveliest of easy cookie recipes out there, and this one is very similar to it, save that it uses espresso powder and butter and kind of accidentally gives you chewy Oreos you can make at home whenever you want . And that's just plain exciting. So join me in making these cookies, and together we will rule the galaxy as ... fat and sugar and oh god someone save me from these cookies they...

So everyone within three zip-codes of me knows that I have an unhealthy adoration for Luke Skywalker, that R2D2 will always be my #1 favorite Star Wars  character (accept no substitutions), and that Chewbacca deserves WAY more love than he gets in canon and fandom and everything in between. What they may not know is that Lando Calrissian makes me seriously question my sexual orientation which, until 27 December 2015 when I saw The Empire Strikes Back  for the first time, was pretty securely pansexual with a heavy tilt towards women. Then Lando sauntered on the scene and into my heart in those goddamn polyester bellbottoms lord preserve me  and I needed to take a moment to remember how to breathe . This cake reminds me of him: Rich, beautiful, delicious, and riddled with all kinds of guilt. In Lando's case, the guilt comes from selling out his dear friend to a vacuum cleaner with a nasty attitude and a breathing problem. In the cake's case, it comes from the amount of ...