Sweet Chili Soba Noodles with Eggs & Veggies

I honestly don't remember why we bought the enormous bottle of sweet Thai chili sauce that's been in our refrigerator for the past ... probably three years. I suspect it was for a Thai dish (duh) but I make so many of those, that doesn't really narrow it down, like at all.

Anyhow, because the bottle's been in the 'fridge for ages, and it had seriously like 2 oz used out of a full liter, we figured we should use it up. Or use it at all, you know. So I went online and looked for recipes that used sweet Thai chili sauce, and happened upon this recipe, which was pretty damn excellent, especially after an hour of DDR, 25 miles of bike-riding, a trip to the hardware store (I got to buy a power saw, I am SO EXCITED), and some pathetic attempts to do press-ups and chin-ups.

Semi-related note: my arms have way more in common with cooked soba noodles than they should. I am ashamed.

Here's my version of the recipe, complete with more veggies, less leek (seriously, leek is such a fucking rip-off, stupid wasteful plant), and more egg. Kind of.

Enjoy!

Sweet Chili Soba Noodles with Eggs & Veggies

Ingredients
Veggies. This can be: a) two small heads' broccoli; b) 12 steamed frozen brussels sprouts; c) bag fresh baby spinach; d) you get the picture.
Eggs. Two if you're pan-frying, three if you're hard-boiling.
8 oz soba noodles

1 yellow onion
1 bundle green onion

2 tbsp sweet Thai chili sauce
4 tsp ginger (mine comes out of a bottle, no shame in that)
1 tsp Sriracha garlic chili sauce
3 tbsp soy sauce

1 tbsp canola oil
1 tsp sesame oil
1 tsp olive oil



Instructions
- If you're hard-boiling your eggs, start them now.
- If you're steaming brussels sprouts, start them now, too.
- Fill a small saucepan about 3/4ths full of water and put it on the stove to come to a boil.

- Chop the broccoli (if you're using it) into bite-size crowns. Cut the stems into 1/4" thick coins, and keep them separate from the crowns.
- Cut the onion in half, then slice the halves into 1/4" thick slices.
- Cut the white part of the green onion into 1/2" pieces, the green part into bigger pieces.

- By now, the water should be boiling. Put the soba noodles in. They boil for a total of 6 minutes.

- In a small dish (I used a coffee mug, no lie), mix together the sweet Thai chili sauce, ginger, Sriracha, and soy sauce.

- Heat 1 tbsp canola oil and 1 tsp sesame oil in a wok.
- Toss the broccoli stem coins and sliced yellow and green onions in.
- Stir-fry for ~2 minutes, letting the onion caramelize some.
- Add the broccoli crowns and cook 3-5 minutes, or until the broccoli has become tender.

- Drain the soba noodles. I use my kitchen shears to cut them into smaller noodles because they're easier to cook with and eat that way.
- Toss the noodles into the wok.
- Pour the sauce on top.
- Cook a minute or so, until everything's all mixed up together.
- Serve into two bowls.

- If you hard-boiled your eggs, peel, rinse, and halve them, putting three halves on each bowl of noodles.
- If you're pan-frying the eggs, heat some olive oil in a small skillet.
- Crack the two eggs into the pan.
- Add a splash of water - like a generous tablespoon of water, no more.
- Drop a lid over the pan. Keep the heat under it. This'll make the water evaporate and steam-cook the eggs (magic!).

- Serve an egg onto each bowl of food.

IT'S OVER.