Garlic Pizza Crust Times Three
This winter - 2015 - has been an absolute pile of bullshit. We've gotten nearly 10' of snow (that's 3 meters for those of you not in the U.S.), today it happens to be 36*F and raining, and tonight it'll be 5*F and stupid. Guess what that means: ice for tomorrow's walk to and from the bus. BULLSHIT I TELL YOU.
Currently, my long-suffering partner is outside hammering ice off our now-leaking porch roof. It's his turn to do this nonsense - I spent my day yesterday roof-raking 3' of snow off the top roof, then shoveling it off the kitchen roof, and attacking ice-dams with roof-melt packed into the legs of ladies' stockings. These are all things I'd never've guessed were things one could do until this year. BULLSHIT I TELL YOU.
To make my partner's life suck a little bit less, I made him some delicious green lentil soup for lunch, and for dinner, I'm making pizza. I'm even going to fry up some chicken sausage for his half of the pizza 'cause I'm a nice, understanding vegetarian like that (my half will be drowning in mushrooms, I can't even wait). The dough's rising right now, so I'm uploading my recipe here for sharing.
Originally inspired by this woefully written recipe, this is like the be-all end-all crust recipe for us. It's good and crisp on the bottom but good and chewy in the middle. And it makes a LOT of crust - we get 3 whole pizzas out of it, which means 3 meals for 1 prep worth of work. How cool is that?
(After this, I'm going to make some ranch hummus because I'm slowly going mad from being cooped up in a winter wonder fuckyouland. Please send help.)
Ingredients
2 cups bathwater-warm water
4 1/2 tsp (8g) yeast
2 tbsp sugar
3 cloves' garlic, minced
5 1/2 to 6 cups flour - you'll start with 3 cups, then add the rest a bit at a time
Olive oil (maybe 1 tbsp?) plus a bit more for the crust
A sprinkle of salt for the crust
Pizza stuff for topping (sauce, cheese (1 1/2 cup mozzarella, 1 cup 6-cheese Italian, a total of 2 1/2 cups cheese, yo), whatever, you know how pizza works)
Instructions
- Pour water into a large mixing bowl.
- Sprinkle yeast and sugar onto the water. Whisk them in a bit so they play nice together.
- Let stand 10 minutes so the yeast wakes up and does whatever it is yeast does.
- Whisk the yeast-water-sugar mixture a little once the 10 minutes are up. It should be kind of bubbly or milky at this point.
- Add the 3 cups' flour and the minced garlic, then mix with a wooden spoon. It's hellaciously sticky at this point, but that's okay.
- Take. Off. Your. Wedding. Ring.
- Add the rest of the flour 1 cup at a time, mixing by hand once the spoon no longer works properly.
- Knead the dough so that it picks up at least 5 1/2 cups of flour. I usually have just a bit left over in the mixing bowl.
- Slick another bowl with the olive oil. You're going to need to cover this thing, so if you have a glass bowl with a lid, use that, and remember to slick the lid with oil, too. If you don't have a lidded bowl, use a big dinner plate, and slick it with oil.
- Let the dough rise in a warm place (I put mine on the heat-vent in the corner) for 45 minutes.
- When the 45 minutes are up, punch the dough down
- Let it rise again for about 15 minutes.
- Preheat oven to 425*F at this point so it's ready when you're ready for it.
- Punch the dough down again, 'cause it's probably getting uppity at this point.
- Roll it out in a big snake so you can guestimate cutting it into thirds.
- Wrap two of the thirds each in plastic wrap and place in the freezer. Defrosting instructions to follow.
- Roll out the remaining third so it's however thick you want it. The dough mostly doubles in thickness while baking, so we make ours pretty thin. Careful not to make it too thin in the middle, or you'll have pizzaflop when you serve the slices.
- Top with sauce and cheese and whatever (mushrooms, man, just sayin'), keeping the toppings about 1" away from the edges.
- Fold the edges in half, but don't be too careful about it. It's more art than science.
- In the little dish into which you minced your garlic, pour a bit of olive oil (maybe 1 tsp?) and a shake or two of salt. Mix that around with your finger.
- Brush the folded crust part very, very lightly with that olive oil mixture. I finger-paint it on with my fingers. (If you're a jack-attack, you'll want Capt. P to do this part for you, hahaha.)
- Bake at 425*F for 20-30 minutes, or until the crust is browned and the cheese is stringy.
- Feel guilty and treadmill afterwards for way longer than you should on such a full stomach.
To use the frozen dough:
- Put it in the refrigerator 8-10 hours before you want to use it, or get it out and warm it at room temperature for 4 hours (I've never done this - I always do the former. Get it out when I'm making breakfast in the morning, then have it ready to make dinner when I get home in the evening.)
Enjoy!
Currently, my long-suffering partner is outside hammering ice off our now-leaking porch roof. It's his turn to do this nonsense - I spent my day yesterday roof-raking 3' of snow off the top roof, then shoveling it off the kitchen roof, and attacking ice-dams with roof-melt packed into the legs of ladies' stockings. These are all things I'd never've guessed were things one could do until this year. BULLSHIT I TELL YOU.
To make my partner's life suck a little bit less, I made him some delicious green lentil soup for lunch, and for dinner, I'm making pizza. I'm even going to fry up some chicken sausage for his half of the pizza 'cause I'm a nice, understanding vegetarian like that (my half will be drowning in mushrooms, I can't even wait). The dough's rising right now, so I'm uploading my recipe here for sharing.
Originally inspired by this woefully written recipe, this is like the be-all end-all crust recipe for us. It's good and crisp on the bottom but good and chewy in the middle. And it makes a LOT of crust - we get 3 whole pizzas out of it, which means 3 meals for 1 prep worth of work. How cool is that?
(After this, I'm going to make some ranch hummus because I'm slowly going mad from being cooped up in a winter wonder fuckyouland. Please send help.)
Garlic Pizza Crust (times three)
Ingredients
2 cups bathwater-warm water
4 1/2 tsp (8g) yeast
2 tbsp sugar
3 cloves' garlic, minced
5 1/2 to 6 cups flour - you'll start with 3 cups, then add the rest a bit at a time
Olive oil (maybe 1 tbsp?) plus a bit more for the crust
A sprinkle of salt for the crust
Pizza stuff for topping (sauce, cheese (1 1/2 cup mozzarella, 1 cup 6-cheese Italian, a total of 2 1/2 cups cheese, yo), whatever, you know how pizza works)
Instructions
- Pour water into a large mixing bowl.
- Sprinkle yeast and sugar onto the water. Whisk them in a bit so they play nice together.
- Let stand 10 minutes so the yeast wakes up and does whatever it is yeast does.
- Whisk the yeast-water-sugar mixture a little once the 10 minutes are up. It should be kind of bubbly or milky at this point.
- Add the 3 cups' flour and the minced garlic, then mix with a wooden spoon. It's hellaciously sticky at this point, but that's okay.
- Take. Off. Your. Wedding. Ring.
- Add the rest of the flour 1 cup at a time, mixing by hand once the spoon no longer works properly.
- Knead the dough so that it picks up at least 5 1/2 cups of flour. I usually have just a bit left over in the mixing bowl.
- Slick another bowl with the olive oil. You're going to need to cover this thing, so if you have a glass bowl with a lid, use that, and remember to slick the lid with oil, too. If you don't have a lidded bowl, use a big dinner plate, and slick it with oil.
- Let the dough rise in a warm place (I put mine on the heat-vent in the corner) for 45 minutes.
- When the 45 minutes are up, punch the dough down
- Let it rise again for about 15 minutes.
- Preheat oven to 425*F at this point so it's ready when you're ready for it.
- Punch the dough down again, 'cause it's probably getting uppity at this point.
- Roll it out in a big snake so you can guestimate cutting it into thirds.
- Wrap two of the thirds each in plastic wrap and place in the freezer. Defrosting instructions to follow.
- Roll out the remaining third so it's however thick you want it. The dough mostly doubles in thickness while baking, so we make ours pretty thin. Careful not to make it too thin in the middle, or you'll have pizzaflop when you serve the slices.
- Top with sauce and cheese and whatever (mushrooms, man, just sayin'), keeping the toppings about 1" away from the edges.
- Fold the edges in half, but don't be too careful about it. It's more art than science.
- In the little dish into which you minced your garlic, pour a bit of olive oil (maybe 1 tsp?) and a shake or two of salt. Mix that around with your finger.
- Brush the folded crust part very, very lightly with that olive oil mixture. I finger-paint it on with my fingers. (If you're a jack-attack, you'll want Capt. P to do this part for you, hahaha.)
- Bake at 425*F for 20-30 minutes, or until the crust is browned and the cheese is stringy.
- Feel guilty and treadmill afterwards for way longer than you should on such a full stomach.
To use the frozen dough:
- Put it in the refrigerator 8-10 hours before you want to use it, or get it out and warm it at room temperature for 4 hours (I've never done this - I always do the former. Get it out when I'm making breakfast in the morning, then have it ready to make dinner when I get home in the evening.)
Enjoy!
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