It's Nuts What You R2D2 Me Almond Chocolate Silk Pie

Back when the Star Wars prequels were coming out, my father -- who is not a Star Wars fan, by the way -- got ALL excited because KFC had a drink-cup shaped like R2D2, and dragged the entire family out for dinner at KFC just so he could get the drink-cup. I didn't get the appeal at the time, and strongly disliked that cup, because one night, when I was wandering around in the dark, scared, with a flashlight, its shadow projected onto the rocking chair in the living room and gave the illusion of a man sitting in the rocking chair, only there wasn't a man and it terrified me and oh by the way I was a complete and utter chicken when I was younger. Except I still am now, never mind.

*cough*

So I've now seen the orig-trig and have a deeper understanding of why my dad wanted that R2D2 cup. Artoo is just a little bucket of sass, he's legitimately the only reason Luke survives half the stuff he survives, and (unlike me) he isn't afraid of anything. He's easily my favorite Star Wars character of all time and I would 100% watch a film that followed him around at the main character. Leia may've had terrible taste in men, but she chose very, very well when picking her 'droid companions.

This recipe has literally nothing to do with R2D2, but it's got nuts in it and I go kinda nuts where Star Wars is involved, so if you take those pieces and put them together, then turn your head and squint, you might see a logical connection.

Go see your eye doctor if you do.

Yup.

It's Nuts What You R2D2 Me Almond Chocolate Silk Pie

Ingredients
16 oreos
3 tbsp butter or coconut oil, melted

16-20 oz silken tofu
1 1/2 tsp cocoa powder
1/2 tsp almond extract
1 tbsp milk (almond milk makes a lot of sense here)
Pinch salt
1 tbsp sugar

12 oz dark chocolate, melted
2 oz sliced almonds, toasted



Instructions

- In a food processor, pulverize 16 oreos like they're Alderaan.

- Dump them into a 9" pie plate or square baking dish.

- Add the melted butter/oil and mix until it's all nice and combined.

- Press into the bottom of the pie plate, kind of going up the sides. This is not science, don't work too hard.

- Don't you dare clean the food processor. Leave the oreo dust in there, we are civilized around here.

- Dump the tofu, cocoa powder, almond extract, milk, salt, and sugar into the food processor.

- In a cereal bowl, kind of melt your chocolate. I did mine in two rounds. It is better to have the chocolate not entirely melted than to have it burn. (I have had very bad luck with chocolate-melting, what.)

- Dump the melty chocolate into the food processor.

- Do NOT wash out the bowl. You will use it in a few minutes.

- Blend that noise until it's all smooth. This WILL make a mess inside your food processor; might want to have a spatula handy to scrape it down midway through.

- Dump the contents of the food processor into the prepared pie-dish. Make it all even and smooth and stuff. Remember: centrifugal/centripetal force is/are your friend(s). However that sentence's grammar works. tl;dr: Use the Force.

- Toast your almonds. I do this in the toaster oven at 350*F for however many minutes it takes for them to start to brown. Don't burn them, that's sad.
- Sprinkle them across the surface of the pie as evenly as you can manage, but don't stress out or work too hard.

- Refrigerate at least 1 hour. I think ours lasted 30 minutes in the fridge. And it was great, so please disregard that 1-hour noise.

- Eat with a glass of milk  on the side. You'll need it.