The World is your Oyster Mushroom Salad

Funny story for you.

Thursday, we ran out of fresh salad greens, so we popped by the grocery and picked up two big tubs of greens.  Saturday, our farm share portion arrived, containing a smaller-but-still-substantial tub of fresh greens, and a smaller-but-spicier tub of microgreens.

Sunday, I drove my partner to the airport so he could go see his grandfather, who had had a stroke and was in need of family to keep him distracted from hating his physical therapist.

Which meant that I was facing a week alone with what measured out to approximately one (1) metric fuck-tonne of fresh greens.  Like, enough that it would be PLENTY for two people.

I am one people.  You may see where this would cause concern.

Except not for me!  I've totally got this.  "I'll just eat salad for breakfast, lunch, and dinner the whole week you're gone!" I announced to my partner, who looked at me like that was the worst thing he could imagine.  "Either I'll be the healthiest person you've ever met when you get back, or I'll shit myself inside out and it'll be a hilarious story to tell later!"

This earned me a preemptively sympathetic pat on the shoulder and a batch of homemade yogurt before he went back to packing, which is really just the kindest sort of gesture. Really.

So Sunday comes and it's time to eat some salad, y'all!  I got some oyster mushrooms with the farm share, so I went to YouTube and found the most wonderful, wholesome, how-to video on how to cook oyster mushrooms ever.  Which I then proceeded to mostly follow and the result is so good on salad greens I don't even have the words for it.  Like ... chicken noodle soup wishes it were this comforting, that kind of thing.  And it didn't occur to me 'til I was in the midst of cooking it, but this nonsense is vegan and gluten-free, but it tastes like it's the biggest indulgence ever.  So very good.

This is one that I'm putting into the permanent rotation.  You've got to give this recipe a try.

The World is your Oyster Mushroom Salad

Ingredients
1 lb oyster mushrooms
2 Tbsp vegetable oil (I used peanut oil)
2 carrots
1 medium shallot (or onion, don't be picky)
2 cloves garlic, sliced
Salt to taste
Generous salad greens for 2 servings

Instructions

1. Wash the mushrooms and rip them into strips about 2" long and no thicker than, say, 3/4".  Set them into one of your salad bowls.
2. Chop the carrots into thin pieces -- I followed how she did it in the video and they were perfect.  You don't want them more than 1/4" thick.
3. Cut the shallot or onion in half, then slice it 1/4" thick.
4. In a nonstick pan or wok over medium heat, add the mushrooms with no oil.  Stir-fry them a few minutes until they've released the water and wilted some.  Put them back into your salad bowl.
5. Add the oil, carrots, and shallot to the wok/pan and turn the heat up to medium high.  Add a pinch of salt and stir-fry until the carrots are halfway to the tenderness level you want.
6. Add the sliced garlic and continue cooking until the carrots are your desired tenderness level.
7. Add the mushrooms and sprinkle with another pinch of salt.
8. Stir-fry just a minute or two more, until the mushrooms have shared their flavor with the other veggies, and vice-versa.
9. Fill two salad bowls with salad greens, and top them with the stir fry.
10. That's literally it.  It's so easy and it tastes so very good aaahhhh

I thought I was going to want an egg to put on top of this, but it turned out that the mushrooms are incredibly flavorful on their own, and with the garlic, onion, carrot, and greens, it was a totally satisfying and delicious meal.  I'd make it again right now, save that a) I have no mushrooms and b) my tum is full.

Oh well.  Next time!