Loco OmuMoco Rice (LocoMoco + Omelette Rice)

Omurice (omelette rice) is something of a staple comfort food in Japan, and Loco Moco is something of a comfort food in Hawaii, and since both traditionally contain meat, I've not gotten to enjoy either since I became a vegetarian in 2014.  Five years I've gone without my favorite comfort foods, and that is just not okay.

Well, until now.  I've fixed it now.

This meal's kind of a pain in the ass to read through, instruction-wise, but it's not all that hard to make, really.  You invest about an hour in it the first time you make it, but then you get leftovers sufficient for like 4 more meals-for-two, and making it after you've gone through the trouble the first time is easier than falling in love with Luke Skywalker again, ask me how I know any of these things.

It's also really delicious and really impressive and goes unnecessarily well with green tea, beer, and butter mochi.  Ask me how I know that, too.

Don't let the ingredient list or instructions intimidate you.  Give this recipe a try!

P.S.
This calls for worcestershire sauce, which traditionally contains anchovies.  There are vegetarian/vegan options for this sauce, or you can make your own.  I don't bother.

Loco OmuMoco Rice

(LocoMoco + Omelette Rice)

Ingredients

Start this cooking
1/4 cup rice
1/2 cup water

Then get all this put together
1 cup old fashioned oats
15 oz tinned chickpeas, drained
1 small onion, finely diced
2 Tbsp olive oil
2 Tbsp smooth peanut butter
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 Tbsp + 2 tsp ketchup
1 Tbsp nutmeg
1 1/2 tsp chili powder
1/4 cup worcestershire sauce
2 tsp soy sauce

This goes in the filling too, but later*
1 Tbsp olive oil
1/2 cup frozen green peas
1/2 small onion, sliced

This is the sauce and it doesn't go in until later*
1 Tbsp butter, melted
1 1/2 Tbsp ketchup
1 Tbsp worcestershire sauce
1 Tbsp mirin
1/2 tsp soy sauce
Gratuitous black pepper

This is the last thing*
1 Tbsp butter (1/2 at a time)
4 eggs (2 at a time)


Instructions

I. Make the rice

• Note: I make mine in a rice cooker, so I set-it-and-forget-it, but it always takes longer to cook than it takes me to make the filling, so if you're paddling along in that boat, be prepared to tap your foot impatiently while giving your rice cooker a stern look.  True story.

II. Make the filling while the rice cooks

1. In a food processor, grind up the oats.  Dump them into a medium mixing bowl.
2. Drain the chickpeas and put them into the food processor.  Grind them up, too, and add them to the mixing bowl.
3. Dice up the onion and put it into the mixing bowl, too.
4. Add the rest of the filling ingredients (2 Tbsp olive oil, 2 Tbsp smooth peanut butter, 2 cloves garlic, minced, 1 Tbsp + 2 tsp ketchup, 1 Tbsp nutmeg, 1 1/2 tsp chili powder, 1/4 cup worcestershire sauce, and 2 tsp soy sauce) to the bowl.  Mix it all together really well with a spatula, then press it together so it can mingle in the bowl.

III. Fry the filling once the rice is cooked

1. In a large frying pan, heat olive oil over medium-high heat (this is 8 on my stove).
2. Add the sliced onion, frozen peas, and 1/3 cup of the filling mix.  Stab the filling mix with a spoon until it breaks into crumbles and is spread around the pan pretty evenly with the peas and onion.
3. Let that fry for 2 1/2 minutes without stirring.
4. This is a good time to start making your sauce:
1. Melt the butter in a cereal bowl.
2. Add the 3 Tbsp ketchup, 2 Tbsp worcestershire sauce, 2 Tbsp mirin, 1 tsp soy sauce, and gratuitous black pepper, whisking until it's smooth.
5. Stir up the filling/peas/onion mix and let it fry again for another 2 1/2 minutes.
6. Drop the heat to medium (this is 5 on my stove) and add 1/4 cup cooked rice and sauce.
7. Stir them all around for about 2 minutes, until the sauce has fully integrated with the filling and rice and has thickened a little.
8. Divide the filling in half in the pan and set it all aside.

IV. Make the omelette to wrap it all up

1. Heat a pan over low heat (3 on my stove) melt 1/2 Tbsp butter in it.
2. Beat 2 eggs and pour them into the pan, swirling the pan around just to coat the bottom with the eggs.
3. Let it sit, undisturbed, until the egg has almost completely cooked through.
1. This part takes too long; I usually go get a snack while I wait.
4. Once the egg has almost completely solidified, put the filling in the middle.  You want it shaped sort of like an elongated football.
5. Fold one half of the egg over the filling, then scoot the whole thing over towards the half of the omelette you haven't folded yet.  The side of the pan will fold it up for you, sort of.
6. Magically invert the whole thing over a plate, then shape the rest of the omelette as you see fit. 
7. Repeat steps 1-6 for the second serving.
8. Decorate with ketchup and serve hot!

*V. Now time for the magic

If you have a job, school, or a life that makes it so you could really use a faster meal on busy nights, this is THE way to do it.  Makes 16 individual servings.

1. Make the filling as described above.
2. Cook 1 cup rice.  This is 4 servings of rice, so divide it into quarters.
1. This means you'll have to make another cup of rice after you've made this 4 times.  I think that's acceptable.
3. Make the sauce sans butter, which means you want:
1. 3/4 cups ketchup
2. 1/2 cup worcestershire sauce
3. 1/2 cup mirin
4. 1 Tbsp + 1 tsp soy sauce
5. Existentially gratuitous black pepper
4. Put all that shit in the 'fridge.

When it's time to make dinner:

1. Get out your onion, peas, filling mix, quarter cup rice, and jar of sauce.
2. Get out 1 Tbsp butter, plus enough butter for the pan, plus 4 eggs.
3. Slice the onion and cook it with the peas and filling mix, as described above in III.3 and III.5.
4. Once that's all cooked up, drop the temperature to 5 and add the Tbsp butter and the rice, chopping up the rice into the mix as the butter melts.
5. Measure out 1/4 cup of sauce and pour that over the mixture, cooking a few minutes until it's thickened nicely.
6. Turn off the heat and divide the filling in half, each half on a large dinner plate.
7. Rinse out your skillet and dry it.  DRY IT.  Otherwise you get burned in the next step, ask me how I know.
8. Put the skillet back on the stove and heat it over low heat (3 on my stove).
9. Follow steps in section IV above.

You can do this 8 times.  EIGHT TIMES.  That's like ... a week plus a three-day weekend of omurice for dinner every single night.  If you don't think that's just the tightest shit then I'm gonna need you to bippity boppity back the fuck up and try again.