your goose is probably only half-baked at this point

I'm rather a fan of smoothies, but they're always kind of ... harsh, somehow. Almost like they're chemically burning my throat, I suppose. And they're so cold . Which I know is rather the point, but I don't like cold things, especially not cold things that say "This is a chemical burn" in Tyler Durden's voice while they're turning my throat into an episode of Game of Thrones that spends too much time focused on Jon and Sam. This smoothie is almost 100% identical to the recipe from Oh She Glows (my colleague loaned me the Oh She Glows cookbook in exchange for pie, in case anyone's curious why I'm suddenly so obsessed with her recipes) but it has my twists to it, mostly brought on by the fact that I purchased a ridiculous number of Just Barley powdered green barley uh ... three years ago, and until today hadn't found a way to drink it that didn't involve way, WAY too much sugar. Like I'd only drink it if it were made with t...

I love chia seed pudding. It's on-par with instant Jell-O pudding as far as "this is stupidly easy to make," but it tastes better and is better for you. This recipe was inspired by the young lady who hosts Oh She Glows , but the pudding recipe is different, and the measures are different. This recipe fits nicely into two 1-cup Ziploc containers, with the measures in (parentheses) appropriate for six 1-cup Ziploc containers. You can probably guess a) how many of us I'm trying to feed, minimum, and b) how many Ziploc containers come in a pack. It's not laziness, here, it's ... efficiency. Yep. Perfect Chia Parfait Ingredients 1/2 cup (1 1/2 cups) chia seed 3 cups (9 cups) soymilk, almond milk, rice milk, coconut milk, cow milk, etc. 3 tbsp (1/2 cup + 1 tbsp) maple syrup 1 tsp (3 tsp) vanilla 2 (6) kiwis 1 small (3 small) bananas, and you will have some leftover, so be ready to just eat the leftovers Instructions - In a mixing bowl (small if yo...

Because if you eat this and you don't  fall instantly and irreparably in love, you're probably missing a heart. Or a soul. Probably both. Love Potion Hot Fudge Sundaes Ingredients Brownies 1/2 cup flour (I use whole wheat, but don't be fooled, nothing healthy about this recipe) 1/2 cup unsweetened baking cocoa 1/4 tsp baking powder 1/4 tsp salt (I totally eyeball the salt) 1/2 cup olive oil 2 eggs 1 cup sugar 5 tbsp coffee liqueur Hot Fudge Sauce 1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, which you will melt 1 1/2 cup sugar 1/4 cup unsweetened baking cocoa 5 oz evaporated milk 1/2 tsp vanilla Toppings Vanilla ice cream Pecans/walnuts, crushed Maraschino cherry (took three tries to spell "maraschino" correctly, yeesh) Instructions Brownies - Preheat oven to 350*F and grease a 9x9 square baking dish. - In a cereal bowl, whisk together flour, cocoa, baking powder and salt. Set aside. - In a small mixing bowl, using the same whisk, beat olive oil and ...

This recipe has been almost entirely copied from this amazing site , but I'm putting it here because a) things have a tendency to disappear off the internet, and b) I made a few modifications, and since the outcome was so unbearably tasty, I'd like to have a record of what I did so I can do it again. This recipe is not good for you . This is one of those recipes that's all "you bike 60+ miles a week and eat fresh veggies all the time, so you can probably survive this." It's really worth it. Which is good, because I'm going to need  to make this recipe, probably more than a few times a year. I'll say it makes 8 servings, but they're large servings. It'd make an excellent snack for guests (we're thinking it'll be nice to make when my mother-in-law visits, for example, because after the long train-ride, she always wants to just eat a little something and drink until she forgets how many hours she's spent on a train) but it also mad...

When I was little, my parents got me the Random House book of Short Stories (which must be out of print because I can't find it anywhere - you'll have to trust me that it's a thing). I loved that book so much, loved all the stories in it, even the one about the green knight who got his head cut off for being a knave. There was one (no knights or beheadings involved) in which a dad and his sons made a lemon pudding, if memory serves, for the boys' mother. It was a funny story - the boys got into trouble for eating too much of the pie, so the dad gave them a beating (beat the eggs) and a whipping (whip the cream) to teach them a lesson - and in the end, Mom gets the pie and says that it tastes like a thousand lemons in the rafters, like the full moon in the sky (something to that effect, anyway). This is not that pie. It is, however, what that pie wanted to be when it grew up. I found the original recipe somewhere between two and three o'clock in the morning, bec...

So imagine that it's two o'clock in the morning, you've been asleep on your beanbag chair for four hours, but you showered (because you were a greasy pile of gross) before getting into your proper bed, which means you're now too awake to go to sleep and too sleepy to get up and do something productive. What do you do to help yourself fall asleep? Surf buzzfeed or imgur? Read the BBC until you're so depressed that you go to sleep to get away from it? No. You go online and find recipes for stuff that looks way too delicious for 3am (it's been an hour, congratulations), then sleep for six more hours while your brain OBSESSES over the recipes you've just found so that when you wake up, these recipes are the ONLY thing you can think about. You'll think about it all day, eventually making a special stop to the grocery so you can make them. This is one of those recipes. It's absolutely delicious, and made even better by the fact that my dear partner w...

Kale is one of those vegetables that you can tell  is good for you because it tastes awful if you cook it wrong. It taunts me because I want  to like it, but it's chewy and bitter and makes fun of me when I make it, then have to choke it down out of a mix of guilt and obligation. Today, I have overcome kale's reign of terror. I adapted this recipe  into something a little bit healthier, a little bit more carb-friendly, and a LOT easier. This recipe takes about 15 minutes from start to finish, and it's legitimately good. Like tasty. Like something you'll actively want  to eat, not feel like you should  eat. Victory! Greens Eggs and Hash Ingredients 1/2 medium sweet potato 1 cup frozen kale 10 frozen Brussels sprouts Olive oil for pan-frying (about 1 tbsp) Salt & pepper to taste 2 eggs Frank's Redhot Sauce (optional, but recommended) Instructions - Place the kale into the steamer. Start steaming it right away so that it doesn't get all upp...

The list of all the tasty, tasty stuff I've posted on this blog. Updated here because, God help me, I can't figure out how to make Blogger give me an archive. All I Want for my Birthday Dinner is Crab(cake)s Badass Biker Chickpea Burgers Burn Your Face Down Totchos Butterscotch Meringue Pie Cheesy Send-off New Year's Eve Fondue Curried Chicken and Broccoli with Quinoa Drop It Like It's Hot Beer Cheese Soup Fifteen Reasons to Eat Crockpot Bean Soup Ginger Tofu Broccoli Stir-Fry Gooey-Good Black Bean Soup Greens Eggs and Hash Greens 'n Beans 'n Eggs 'n Toast Haddock & Tintin Dinner Special I don't like quinoa either Quinoa Black Bean Stew Katie's Ultimate Chocolate Pie Katsudoff/Katsudon't Katsuwaaat King Arthur's Tart Lemon Coconut Not-Cream Pie Lemon Herb Tofu with Pecan Quinoa Love Potion Hot Fudge Sundaes Molly's Cheesy Turkey Stew No-Bowl Oatmeal for Hungry Cyclists (and you, too) No-Bowl Peanut Butter Ban...

I love potato soup. When I was on study abroad and charged with creating a dish for our big Thanksgiving potluck, I made potato soup. When I started dating my partner, potato soup was one of the first things I cooked for him. Hell, it was one of the only things I knew how to make when I moved out on my own. It's a staple. BUT, it's also kind of ... not all that healthy. Or substantial. Which didn't matter until I started biking everywhere, but man, when you're a cyclist, you really can't eat stuff like potato soup that burns up fast and leaves you hungry when you have 10+ miles left to go. I found this recipe  while searching for meatless recipes. Tried it out today. Fell madly in love. My version is a little bit healthier but a little bit lengthier, a little bit cheaper but ... yeah, a little bit lengthier. And by "a little bit" I mean "like 3 hours longer." Whatever. Totally worth it. Not Potato Soup   Ingredients 1 lb navy beans, w...

This recipe is a Frankenstein monster of several recipes, created one night when I was hungry, didn't feel like ordering out, and didn't feel like making do with foraging. On the one hand, I'm a little bit horrified that my kitchen contained everything I needed to make this creation (full disclosure: I used frozen Brussels sprouts instead of broccoli the first time, and would do again), but on the other hand, I'm rather proud that my kitchen contained enough healthy stuff for me to cook amazing things on a whim. Terribly conflicting. Anyway. Give it a go. It only makes two meals, so it's a bit of work for a one-off, but by the same token, I can make the whole mess in about 15 minutes, so it's not really THAT much work. Especially not when you consider the pay-off, which is just plain delish. Teriyaki Tofu Triangles with Broccoli and Cellophane Noodles Ingredients The Main Cast 1 large head broccoli, cut into florets 3 oz dry cellophane noodles 7-10...

I learned how to make a really stupidly outstanding orange-glaze tofu  yesterday, but didn't have anything good to serve it on (the quinoa mix I initially tried was an utter, devastating FAILURE). Tonight, I made the tofu again (and by the way, it's so good, I'd totally make it by itself and eat it straight from the pan) and made some veggies to go with because, hey, veggies! I expected it to be good. I mean, how could it not be? Tofu prepared  in a way I knew  I liked, served atop foods prepared in a way I know I like - that sounds like a recipe for success, doesn't it? I wasn't expecting it to be this  good, though. The flavors and textures all combine into something that really just ... I don't know. I usually try to be funny in my blog-posts, but this meal is so straight-up unbearably good - and good for  you, when does THAT ever happen - that I'm all out of jokes and really just want to share the recipe with the world. Here it is. Try it. You'll...

I've declared May 2014 to be "no-meat May," which means that I will neither cook nor consume any meat or meat product. This means, in addition to no crab-cakes or chicken breast, no chicken or beef bouillon. Since it's just a month - 31 days - I'm pretty sure I can handle it. The best part of no-meat May is that David doesn't know about it. I'm not telling him; you'd better not tell him, either. I'm collecting bets on how long it'll take him to notice and either a) directly request meat, or b) ask if we're going vegetarian. My bet is that he'll make it at least to 24 May before he asks. My colleagues and direct reports are far less optimistic - I've had bets for 24 hours in, 8 days, 18 days, and two weeks. Thanks, guys. Anywhosit, this is the first new recipe I've made as part of no-meat May (the first was black-bean sweet potato chili, sooo good). It's ridiculously easy, stupidly delicious, and on top of that, g...